Anxiety is part of life, but when it becomes truly debilitating and affects aspects of your life that are highly important, it’s time for change.

Performance anxiety has long been a major part of studies on motivation. All of us will, at one time or another, experience some degree of anxiety about our “performance” in many areas of our lives: school, socializing, intimate relationships, careers—anytime a group or person judges us.

People usually link performance anxiety to sports, like not being able to sink the putt or take the kick in the final championship. I once had a darts champion come to me for a consultation.

He was a successful executive nearing retirement, and now he was “choking” when it was his turn in a darts contest; he was losing his edge. Previously, he threw without a problem and won most tournaments he entered. Now, he was falling behind. I referred him to a sports psychologist who could help with his performance anxiety.

Stage or performance fear can happen anywhere, even in the bedroom. In times of stress, performance anxiety can show up before or during a difficult task. A small amount of worry can help us do better, but too much can ruin our plans.

Researchers found that test anxiety increases as students transition from elementary to junior high school, resulting in a greater impact on their academic performance. They also found that very anxious kids did worse on tests of academic ability than kids who were not very anxious. Also, girls had higher anxiety rates than boys.

What are some symptoms of performance anxiety, and how do they manifest? A short list would include:

1. Symptoms of depression
   People who have performance anxiety may feel a lot of different emotions, such as fear, worry, dread, embarrassment, and self-doubt. For some people, they cause a lot of stress and make it hard to concentrate on tasks.

2. Problems with thinking
Performance anxiety can make you think negatively about yourself, set unrealistic goals, and fear of failing. This kind of thinking feeds the cycle of fear and makes people less sure of themselves.

3. Signs and symptoms
In addition to mental signs, it can manifest as physical symptoms like a racing heart, difficulty breathing, shaking, sweating, dry mouth, stomach issues, and tense muscles. These things can make the mental and emotional effects even worse.

4. Symptoms of behavior
The mental, emotional, and physical effects can cause clients to alter their behavior. It could mean avoiding anxiety triggers, staying away from social activities, and struggling academically.

5. Effects on other people
Performance nervousness can make getting along with family, friends, and coworkers hard. The person may seem detached and unwilling to help, making them feel even more alone and putting more pressure on themselves.

The three most likely things that will cause performance anxiety to flourish are a fear of failure where we keep ruminating about the fact that we may not do well or that we may not be able to do something at all. This fear can be paralyzing at times and it is often seen in athletic competitions and musical concerts.

I knew someone who was a backstage crew member at a very famous singer’s concert at a college. The woman had such serious, almost debilitating performance anxiety (despite being a bestselling artist) that she had to drink a pint of alcohol before she could go on.

There was another woman singer who felt so anxious before performing that she would vomit backstage right before going on. And the struggle Barbra Streisand had with performance anxiety kept her off the stage for almost three decades.

Another cause of this form of anxiety coming on is having unrealistic expectations about ourselves and judging ourselves, harshly when we do not meet this impossible standard.

Lastly is a lack of confidence, and here we need to be our own coach and encourage ourselves to do well, relax, and get on with the task. We know that self-reassurance has the power to activate portions of the brain that are involved in reward and reinforcement. When people feel threatened, self-affirmations can help them regain their self-competence by giving them a chance to think about their core values and other sources of self-worth.

When you use positive self-talk, you teach yourself, just like a good coach would do during a game. The game is your life here. Try it.

Additional ways to help yourself with performance anxiety include:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a helpful way to get over anxiety by practicing thoughtful acceptance and regaining control when things get stressful. Behavioral research is where ACT got its start. An important part of behaviorism is ecology, which looks at how changes in the outside world can change and shape people.

In a 2017 study, music students who got ACT treatment for 12 sessions had a lot less performance anxiety and were less likely to avoid scenarios that could set them off.

Practice of mindfulness that is sometimes used along with ACT, but it can also be used on its own.

Being mindful at work is linked to leaders’ ability to handle events that cause uncertainty and stress. Employers can improve their workers’ psychological capital and lower the incidence and effects of performance anxiety through mindfulness training and treatments.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the best ways to handle mental health problems, and it has been shown to help people with performance anxiety, including musicians, athletes, and others.

Brief bouts of exposing performers to events that make them anxious can lessen the physical symptoms of anxiety and make it easier for them to deal with symptoms.

There are effective ways to overcome performance anxiety, such as therapy or self-help techniques, that can greatly improve your psychological well-being for any kind of performance. Now, it's up to you to decide which ones you would like to incorporate into your life, test them out, and use them as you see fit.