Have you ever felt like you suddenly “woke up” at 40, still single, and realizing life is passing you by? It’s like you’re the new “Sleeping Beauty”, only it wasn’t true love’s kiss that woke you up, and now wondering, “Where’s my happily ever after?” 

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Recently, a female client expressed that she wondered how she got to be 40 and is still single. Time had slipped away, with other things taking priority in her life instead of focusing on finding love. She was worried that she had missed her opportunity- that it was too late and was stuck with no happy ending.

Why We “Fall Asleep” on Love

This new Sleeping Beauty didn’t just take a nap and end up 40 and single. They weren’t just passive, idle, or unloveable. Rather, life has kept them busy with everything but love.

When I turned 40, I was divorced, had no significant relationship in my life, and was without any children from my previous marriage. This was the heartbreak of my life. I never expected to be 40, single, and without a family.

But I had a choice to make- I could either whine about what hadn’t happened or choose to believe that my best chapters were still ahead of me. I knew that if I truly wanted love, I had to treat it as a priority. I couldn’t give up, and that decision changed everything.

What about you? Maybe you were pursuing a demanding career, answering the call of family responsibilities, or trying to heal from a relationship that left you disillusioned. Perhaps you told yourself you’d “get to love later,” but later kept getting pushed back. These are real, valid reasons. 

But here’s the thing: if love is important to you, it’s worth waking up for now.  It’s never too late to open your eyes, reawaken your heart, and pursue the kind of intentional relationship you really want. Your Prince (or Princess) is out there if you’re willing to step out and pursue lasting love. You’re wiser today than you were at 25. You’ve grown into your values, have better-defined goals in life, and likely have a much clearer sense of who and what you need in a partner. And that gives you a major advantage—if you’re willing to make love a priority.

The Good News: It’s Not Too Late

The good news is that many of my clients—and myself included—did find love in our early 40s and beyond. Some of us created families through natural means, others through IVF, adoption, or by becoming a loving step-parent. Some of my clients met their partners through online dating, others through coaching or community connections. Many had never been married before. The point is—it can happen. And it does happen when you get intentional.

I commend my clients who took that bold step to work with me as their relationship coach. They stopped waiting for Prince Charming to just show up and became active participants in their own love stories. And they stopped believing that being 40 and single meant settling for less!

Not Just a Princess Problem: Men Wake Up Too

While the Sleeping Beauty metaphor often feels geared toward women, I’ve worked with many men who’ve also found themselves surprised to be 40 and single. Maybe you were focused on advancing your career, accumulating financial security, or living freely without the weight of relationship responsibilities. You might have thought love would “just happen” when the time was right—but somehow, that time never came.

Now, you find yourself 40 and single, asking the same questions as the women:  “Did I miss my shot at love?”, “Is it too late to start a family?”, “Where do I even begin?”

Let me assure you—it’s not too late. But it is time to get proactive. Men often face the pressure to “have it all together” before pursuing a relationship. They think they need to be financially set or be at a certain place in their career before they can have love. Yet, some of the best relationships are those where the couple builds a life together instead of deciding they each need to hit some arbitrary success line first. Giving in to that pressure can delay finding lasting love indefinitely. 

If you’re serious about finding someone to share your life with, then it’s time to make some bold moves.  You need to choose to approach the search for love with the same energy and commitment you gave to your career or personal development.

The men who find love in their 40s are the ones who are willing to reflect, grow, and take action! They’re open to coaching. They challenge old patterns. And most importantly—they’re emotionally available and ready for partnership.

Practical Steps for the Single 40–Something to Reawaken Love

So how do you move forward if you’re feeling like the new Sleeping Beauty?

Here are a few places to start:

• Get Clear on What You Want – What does love look like to you now? What kind of relationship and lifestyle are you truly seeking? What are the values you want to see in a partner and your relationship?
• Let Go of Outdated Beliefs – Maybe you’re telling yourself that all the good ones are taken or that it’s “too late.” These stories aren’t helping you—they’re holding you back. Slay those dragons and move forward in pursuit of finding love.
• Make Love a Priority – Block time for dating just as you would for work, fitness, or family. Love won’t fit itself into the leftover corners of your life.
• Explore New Avenues – Whether it’s online dating, singles travel, community groups, or working with a coach, be open to finding love in ways you haven’t tried before.
• Do the Inner Work – The relationship you want requires a version of you who’s emotionally ready. That might mean healing past wounds, improving communication skills, or building confidence.
  

What Do You Want the Next 10 Years to Look Like?

Ask yourself this: “How would I feel turning 50 and still having no significant relationship or children in my life?”

This isn’t about pressuring yourself—it’s about being honest with yourself. Time is precious, and what you do now matters. The actions you take today can shift the trajectory of your love life tomorrow. Because you deserve to be wide awake for what comes next. And the next chapter? It can be the one where the dream finally becomes a reality. 

If you, Sleeping Beauty, have just woken up in your 40s to the single life and need help figuring out what to do next, reach out. I’d love to help. Dating and Relationship Coaching is a great way to get clear on what you want and how to go about getting it! From group coaching to one-on-one, I’ve got a plan for you and your happily ever after!

If you are ready to pursue lasting love, my systematic methodology to dating and relationships has proven results for finding true love! The Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets Coaching Club program is the perfect place to help you find your happily ever after. Check out the entire program online atwww.motivatedtomarrydatingsecrets.com.