9 Ways to Improve Your Active Listening Skill

Active listening is an important skill that a leader needs to have and practice. 

By being an active listener, you can make better decisions, strengthen your relationships with your team, clients, or customers, and also spot opportunities that you might otherwise miss. 

Active listening requires the listener to absorb information, comprehend the message, and retain the information conveyed by the speaker. While practicing active listening, you should pay close attention to the speaker's non-verbal cues (behavior, body language) to gain a full understanding of their message. 

Here are 9 ways you can improve your active listening skill. 

1. Be the last to speak

If you truly want to learn about other people's opinions, just sit back and really listen to what everyone is saying. Try not to show judgment or react throughout the conversation. You will be amazed at how much you can learn when you let others lead the conversation. 

2. Focus on them, not yourself

Listening is not about you. You cannot actively listen to what others are saying when you are too busy figuring out what you're going to say. You should not interrupt or finish the other person's sentences. Stop worrying about how to defend yourself from having your opinions validated, your main focus should be on the other person. 

3. Maintain eye contact

When another person is speaking, make sure that you are giving them your undivided attention by maintaining eye contact, instead of checking your phone or computer. You can provide non-verbal cues that you are listening, such as nodding your head or leaning in, but eye contact is the most important component of active listening. Maintaining eye contact for 4-5 seconds each time throughout the conversation helps you display interest and confidence. 

If you are doing this virtually, make sure that the other person can see your full upper body, not just your face. This allows them to see your hand gestures throughout the interaction. When it comes to maintaining "digital eye-contact" try to look into your camera, instead of just looking at your screen. 

4. Listen to non-verbal cues

In order to fully understand the message that the other person is trying to convey, you also have to pay attention to the other person's non-verbal cues. Non-verbal communication such as body language, facial expressions, actions, or inaction is often as important as the message itself. By paying attention to the speaker's non-verbal cues, you can gain clues on how the person is truly feeling and their honest reaction to certain topics — this will help you gain a deeper understanding of the situation. 

5. Withhold your judgment

Active listening requires you to welcome new perspectives, ideas, and have an open mind. Even when you have strong opinions on certain issues, try to suspend your judgment and pay attention to what the other person is saying first, without criticizing or arguing. You are there to listen, absorb and think rather than instantly respond.

6. Verify your understanding

Try to summarize and restate what you are hearing to verify your understanding. Don't be afraid to ask questions or ask for clarification.

You can say something like "Let me know if I got this right. Are you saying that…" or "I'm sorry, I didn't follow you, can you repeat or elaborate on that"?

The person will most likely add something you missed, or clarify a point that you might have interpreted differently. The best way to verify your understanding is to paraphrase what they've said in your own words without any judgment.

7. Ask open-ended questions

Active listening puts emphasis on asking questions, rather than telling or making assumptions. You can try asking open-ended questions to encourage the other person to share more of their thought processes and opinions with you, so that you can gain a complete understanding of what they are saying. 

You can ask questions like "Can you elaborate on that"? What kind of solutions have you tried?", "What do you think about….". 

8. Ask for permission to share your thoughts

After fully understanding what the other person is saying, it can be a good idea to ask for permission to share your thoughts on the topic. Once they agree, provide them with your own suggestions, ideas, and thoughts on the issue. 

As a leader or a coach, it is important that you don't dictate a solution. What you can do instead is to ask further questions that can help them think from different perspectives, guide them, and offer ideas. 

9. Recognize the contribution of others

People often overlook the importance of giving recognition to other people's contributions. Even if there is no real value, thank the person for their time and input. It's important to acknowledge the person's effort, ideas, and actions — especially for leaders. 

Now that you understand the value of active listening in leadership, it's time for you to practice it yourself.

"The most important conversation is the kind and loving conversation you have with yourself each day. Take a pause, breathe and listen deep within yourself."

Lead with Love

Maynard

Dr. Maynard Brusman

Consulting Psychologist & Executive Coach

Trusted Leadership Advisor

Emotional intelligence and Mindful Leadership Consultant

San Francisco Bay Area and Beyond!

www.workingresources.com

mbrusman@workingresources.com

415-546-1252