Today, Bookpleasures.comis delighted to welcome Helen Winslow Black, an accomplished author,speaker, and passionate advocate for the prevention of domesticabuse. 

Known for her evocativestorytelling and deeply relatable characters, Helen garnered criticalacclaim with her debut novel, Seven Blackbirds, which not onlywon the 2021 Firebird Book Award but also introduced readersto the unforgettable character of Kim. 

Helen’s commitment toher craft extends beyond her novels—she’s also the voice behindthe audiobook version of Seven Blackbirds and has penned acollection of humorous essays on her website.

A proud Midwesterner whonow calls Portland, Oregon home, Helen's life reflects heradventurous spirit. Motherhood is core to her mission.

She's raised fivefantasstic human beings to adulthood and now, in her quest for newchallenges and adventures, enjoys summiting Colorado Fourteeners andtraveling with her husband, especially to Australia and New Zealand. 

As a mother of five, Helenbrings her unique experiences and perspectives into her writing,capturing the beauty and complexity of human relationships.

Norm: Songs My Mother Taught Me explores thecomplexity of marriage and family relationships. What inspired you todelve into these themes in your novel?

Helen: First of all,thanks so much for having this conversation, Norm, and I love yourthoughtful questions.

You know, there’s ascene that appears in both of my books so far that kind of sums thatup.

It’s something Kim’smother, Bobbie, muses to her when she’s only a teenager: “Thepast is just the present of another day.”

I’ve always beenintrigued by how we carry our childhood experiences, our originalfamily dynamic, along with us into our adulthood.

Even more fascinating ishow the impact of that on our own choices and actions in life candiffer so widely even if the experiences, or the people, seem sosimilar on the surface. It’s like turning an invisiblekaleidoscope.

Why is that? It fascinatesme. I probably could have gotten it out of my system by majoring inpsychology in college, but I didn’t, so here we are.

Norm: How did thecharacter of Kim evolve from your first book, SevenBlackbirds, to her journey in Songs My Mother Taught Me?

Helen: At the end of“Seven Blackbirds,” Kim is standing on the threshold of a newlife. She’s earned some wisdom, but she’s still young.

The person she runs offinto the sunset with is herself; I left the book open-ended because Iwanted to see what would happen next. She moves on to a happy lifepartnership with someone she’s really in tune with. 

She calls it her “real”marriage, but in a way, that makes working out problems, when theyarise, that much more difficult, because you’re invested.

On the other hand, theconfidence she gains from that successful marriage is a large part ofwhat helps her work through those difficulties.

I’d also like to mentionthat she’s on a big learning curve about family. Over time, andseveral geographical moves, she comes to see the importance of beingclose to extended family for physical and emotional support—thatlatter is something that comes with greater confidence, after youpass through the “I have to do it myself” phase. Both of thosethings represent evolving maturity.

Norm: The novel tacklesdifficult topics such as secrets, betrayal, and emotional scars. Howdid you approach writing these heavy subjects in a way that feltauthentic to the characters and their experiences?

Helen: Every family hasits own shared history, conversational references, secret language.

When you develop that overtime, and establish it, you can bring it lightly to bear on not justthe fun moments but the difficult ones, and that lends authenticity.

For example, Kim and hersister have a childhood memory of standing on the train tracks inGlencoe holding hands, looking north to Milwaukee, south to downtownChicago.

It comes up in both booksso far, and toward the end of “Songs” it reappears in a gorgeous,gorgeous scene where they are reacting to a conversation with theirmother where she essentially blesses them as adults, allowing them tomake that “tremendous shift into a new key.”

This shared memory isfolded into their experience of this moment in a way that absolutelyrings the bell of emotional truth and does it without being too“heavy.”

Being able to layer thisstuff in is super helpful in that regard. You can do this when youhave characters and moments and scenes that appear in multiple books.

I have two so far, therewill be three. It’s kind of like having your own YoknapatawphaCounty without the excruciatingly difficultstream-of-consciousness-without-punctuation aspect of Faulkner’swriting.

He can do that becausehe’s a genius. I ain’t.

Norm: Kim’srelationship with her second husband, John, is marked by trust, butwhen secrets begin to unravel, the dynamics shift. What was the mostchallenging part of portraying the shift in their relationship?

Helen: I have to say thatthe most challenging part of portraying that was writing the chapterthat precurses the shift and lays the foundation for it.

Kim and her husband aredriving home after a difficult business-social event, and as theydecompress, emotional issues Kim hadn’t necessarily bargained forcome to the fore.

In the event, she and Johnare able to navigate their way around the tip of this iceberg, whichis a testament to the solidity of their marriage, but those ten pagesof unfolding conversation on the drive home, and then sitting in theparked car in their driveway, were the most challenging to writebecause they were very complicated as well as heart wrenching, whichyou can’t overdo.

I had to balance on thehead of a pin on that one. 

Norm: Music plays asignificant role in Kim’s story, connecting her to her mother andproviding solace. Can you talk about the role of music in your ownlife and how it influenced your writing?

Helen: I grew up as aclassical musician: played in three orchestras in high school and didstring quartet on Saturdays on top of that, sang in the church choir,with three rehearsals a week, and in college continued with choralgroups as well as piano and harpsichord.

That kind of immersionabsolutely carries over into my writing. Whether it’s straightnarrative or dialogue, it gives me a keen sense of rhythm andbalance.

I understand that therests are just as important as the notes themselves. I can graspstructure in the abstract. I understand harmonic depth and how tocreate that on paper. I actually see my writing as music.

Norm: Kim is a woman ofmany talents, balancing her career as a lawyer with raising children.How did you ensure her character felt grounded in reality whileshowcasing her achievements?

Helen: By showing thepush-and-pull of it, the conflict and her awareness of the conflict.

By not leaving any of itout: the mistakes, the moments of uncertainty and guilt, of conflictwith her own mother or her children or her husband—or herself—asshe tries to balance her different roles.

Sometimes you can do thisthrough humor, sometimes through more serious reflective passages.But it’s something we all go through, so that’s very real.

Norm: Family dynamicsare crucial in Songs My Mother Taught Me, especially therelationship between Kim, her mother, and her sister.

How did you developthese characters to reflect the nuances of unconditional love andmisunderstanding?

Helen: Here I think humoris key. You really believe that Kim and Karen would walk acrossbroken glass for each other and for their mother even if they dotease her about traveling with tapioca packets in her luggage.

You can’t fake humorlike that and it bespeaks a solid relationship. Even the way theyslip in and out of little arguments using humor, shows that.

They can needle each otherand engage in conflict but are still one hundred percent secure inthe relationship.

That’s almost thedefinition of unconditional love, isn’t it? None of this can youfake. You can’t fake the humor. It brings home the long-standingnature of this familiarity, and you appreciate that.

So, when the going getstough and the tough have those tough conversations, they’re totallybelievable because you’ve laid the groundwork.

Norm: The book takesplace over several years. How did you handle the passage of time inthe story, and how did you keep the characters’ experiencesgrounded in the reality of their evolving lives?

Helen: Although I don’tspecify years—this is fiction, after all—I had to keep pace withalmost fifteen years of social, cultural and economic trendsoccurring around these families.

And as it happens there isone unmistakable actual historical event that transpires during thecourse of the book, so I used that as a chronological landmark andthen took a giant sheet of butcher paper and made a timelinelabelling everything with actual/made-up dates just so I didn’tmake any mistakes, like calling a third-grader a fourth-grader orhaving somebody playing with a dog that had died the previous year.

I also had a lot oftechnology to keep track of too. At the beginning of the book, headsswivel in a diner when Kim’s cell phone rings because it wasunusual for people to have them.

By the end of the book,even children are accustomed to having cell phones sutured to theirpalms. You see the passage of time through details like this as well.

Norm: The book exploresthe tension between protecting one’s family and confronting painfultruths. What message do you hope readers take away from this dilemma?

Helen: On your ownjourney, you have to confront painful truths because the only waypast something is through it.

But when you’refacilitating a child’s passage through a traumatic life event, youhave to tailor that to the child’s age, developmental level andability to understand, at the given time.

Act constructively intheir best interests. To do otherwise is, unfortunately, the epitomeof selfishness. It’s not about you, it’s about the kid.

Norm: Some secondarycharacters, like Kim’s neighbor Bill, provide moments of emotionaldepth but could benefit from further development.

Can you share why youchose to focus more on the central family dynamics rather thanexpanding on these characters?

Helen: Can I blame it onmy editor? Love you, Betsy! I had to cut out so much. I’m justoverflowing with characters and scenes, but it’s not like it’sthe last book I’ll ever write and focus is important.

I’m so fond of Bill, andI comfort myself with the fact that he’s going to be bigger in thenext book.

He’s going to have awonderful relationship with Grace as she moves through childhood anddevelops her own career as a professional musician, a relationshipwhich is hinted at in “Songs” but which I’ll expand on. If youknow Willa Cather’s “Song of the Lark,” he’s going to be Rayto her Thea. I had no idea I was doing that until I saw I’d doneit.

I was just really tryingto write about that neat kind of relationship you can have withsomeone who’s as old as your parents but isn’t your parent. It’svery nourishing and freeing, especially in adolescence. 

Norm: Where can ourreaders find out more about you and Songs My Mother TaughtMe?

Helen: MY WEBSITE.  I post links there to signings,reviews and interviews and where and when you can catch me on TV orradio or podcast or at least watch a replay.

I’ll also do that on aFacebook author page which should be up and running…um…yesterday.My publicist told me to get cracking on that but I reminded him timeis non-linear, so in some sense, it’s already happened. 

Norm: What is next forHelen Winslow Black?

Helen: I’m recording theaudiobook of “Songs” soon so that should be available towards theend of the year.

Remember that if you havefriends who like audiobooks. My humor collection “Eat Pray Drive”should come out early next year, and I’m working on the third bookin this non-linear trilogy, the one that focuses on the daughterGrace.

I’m a very slow writer.So while you’re waiting, I have a non-fiction humor collection tokeep you amused. It’s called “Eat Pray Drive” and I hope tobring it out early next year.

Norm: As we concludeour interview, ultimately,  Songs My Mother Taught Me endson a note of hope. What do you believe is the novel’s ultimatemessage about resilience, love, and healing?

Grace: Courage will getyou everywhere. Including into a healthy life of your own creation.

To Read Norm's reviewof Songs My Mother Taught Me FOLLOWHERE