Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Cathy Lane's mother died of a heart attack one morning in the summer of 2004. That night Cathy found a lump in her breast. It was, as she would later say, one of the worst days of her life.
Cathy, the active, robust mother of four grown children, worked as a statistician. She and her spouse David married in their late teens and had been together for thirty years. Canadian by birth, Cathy and her family moved to the United States when her children were still toddlers. They lived in a bucolic Pennsylvania community, where Cathy loved her house and enjoyed tending to her backyard, particularly her carefully-planted English garden. Passionate about ice hockey, she wasn't just a fan; Cathy played on a local team several times a week. Her relationship with David, a marriage and family counselor, was always an interdependent one – Cathy enjoyed being in charge of her own life.
On that beautiful June day, Cathy was in the middle of a stressful work day when her brother called from his home in Ottawa Ontario with the devastating news. Cathy struggled to wrap her mind around Jake's words. Earlier that morning, he explained, he'd taken their mother to a hospital for a routine Alzheimer's evaluation. While there, doctors gave her mother a wrong dose of medication which caused a heart attack. Her brother assured Cathy that her mother died quickly but painlessly.
Later that night, as the news started to sink in, Cathy prepared for the ten hour trip to her childhood home. Since they planned to leave very early in the morning, Cathy decided to shower before going to bed. That's when she found the hard little nodule. She knew immediately it was bad; she told no one but David.
During the next week she mourned her mother's death, overwhelmed with sorrow. As she grieved, in the back of her mind, she knew she was facing a threat to her own life. During that deeply emotional time, Cathy's heart ached for her mother while her mind raced with thoughts about what she might be facing when she returned home.
Once back in the U.S., Cathy saw her doctor and had tests. Nothing showed up on the mammogram but an ultrasound showed the lump. A biopsy confirmed that the lump was cancerous.
"Difficulties never occur at optimal times," Cathy ruefully acknowledges. "My oldest was getting married in early August, my youngest was trying out for "Junior A" Hockey in Canada and I was in the middle of one of the final courses for a Masters of Mathematics in Applied Statistics." Inconvenient as it was, Cathy assessed her situation, discussed her decisions with David and moved forward. She put her coursework on hold and scheduled the operation for right after the wedding. Everything else fell in behind those two events.
In mid-August, on a typical "dog days of summer" kind of morning, Cathy mentally prepared for the challenge of her life. Surgery was scheduled for mid-morning, and as instructed, she carefully avoided food and liquids. However, her team was playing hockey at 6am. Since there were no instructions about physical activity, Cathy decided to join her teammates. Some might question Cathy's decision to play hockey, but she had her own logic. "After surgery I knew it would be weeks until I could play again," Cathy explains. "Also, I was starting chemo in a month and I had no idea if I would have the energy to play. So, I thought, why not do something I love? It made me not think about what was going to happen to me later that day.
So I played."
Once the game was over, Cathy went to the hospital. There were several delays. Cathy later learned two of the holdups – and almost a rescheduling – were caused by the loss of fluids and increased heart activity resulting from her strenuous morning. But once she got enough fluid and everyone realized her heart was racing due to her morning activities, doctors decided to proceed. Only hours after the hockey game, a surgeon removed Cathy's breast. She had several rounds of chemotherapy and breast reconstruction. It was difficult time, but through it all, Cathy felt she was calling the shots.
Looking back, Cathy admits she's glad she played hockey that morning because it calmed her down. In fact, throughout her treatment, Cathy continued to play hockey. Though some people thought she was a little crazy for doing it, in her own defense, she quotes Winston Churchill, "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." She believes keeping up with the sport, in the company of her supportive teammates, helped her maintain a positive attitude. In addition, Cathy reports, "My oncologist thinks it actually helped me to recover by boosting my immune system!"
It's been five years, and Cathy's recovery is complete. While she doesn't think every woman needs to play hockey before surgery, she
does think every woman has to chart the course and lead her team of healthcare providers and loving supporters. Even more specifically, Cathy encourages other women who are dealing with breast cancer to find what they love to do and, no matter what anyone else says, do it often. After all, when you're in a fight for your life, who cares what "they" say. And, Cathy advises, "live one day at a time and enjoy the moment."
© 2009 Annmarie Kelly. All rights reserved. You are welcome to share this article, in whole or in part, as long as copyright and attribution are included.
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Annmarie Kelly is a leadership expert who encourages women to "live out loud and in living color" by overcoming adversity and transforming challenges into opportunities. She helps them be inspired, educated and empowered leaders of their lives, their families and in the workplace. The author of Victorious Woman! Shaping Life's Challenges into Personal Victories, Annmarie Kelly is the founder of the Victorious Woman Project and the Victorious Woman Essay Contest. For Annmarie Kelly's free newsletter, to schedule an interview or to book Annmarie for a workshop or keynote, call/email:
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