?Can two siblings have power of attorney for an elderly parent? Siblings sharing power of attorney or acting as co-agents under power of attorney for a parent is possible. Before accepting co-agent responsibility, you must know the duty you accept and confirm a commitment to work together when potential disagreements arise.
Suppose you are a parent considering appointing two children as your power of attorney agents for medical or financial power of attorney. In that case, you must know about important considerations and protections for yourself when appointing a power of attorney.
Considerations
Aging parents often choose adult children as their power of attorney agents. Professional fiduciaries serve as medical and financial power of attorney when children are unavailable or are viewed as poor choices by parents.
When appointing family members or friends, it is essential to plan for all scenarios. When choosing two children to serve as co-agents or individual agents, ensure you know their skills related to money management, health care, and good decision-making.
Managing care and related tasks can be emotionally challenging due to the personal nature of interactions and decisions. For this reason, having two siblings as power of attorney can help balance emotion and logic.
Examples of everyday decisions include:
- How to schedule family discussions about ongoing decisions and plans
- Who will accompany parents to doctor appointments and assist with medical decision-making
- What is the best way to pay ongoing monthly expenses
- How to budget for non-essential items if the spending habits of parents exceed monthly income
Differences of Opinion
Siblings with power of attorney for elderly parents can have different opinions about managing health and financial matters. To resolve differences of opinion, it is vital to understand that being a power of attorney agent is a fiduciary responsibility.
Good communication, trust, and a commitment to work together is necessary. When sibling disagreements arise, each can believe their beliefs are correct and refuse to collaborate.
Disagreements between two siblings with power of attorney can harm the parent who needs support and result in toxic family relationships that are unrepairable.
What each sibling wants or finds important may differ from what matters to a parent. Two siblings with power of attorney do not have the legal right to override a parent’s wishes.
As co-agents under a power of attorney, two siblings must consult an elderly parent about all decisions.
If you are a parent who appoints your children as power of attorney agents, it is best to be transparent. The best way to protect yourself is to have your wishes documented and notarized to avoid differences of opinion between your children.
Revoking Children as a Power of Attorney Agent
As a parent, you can revoke the power of attorney documents and your children’s appointments as agents at any time. When you revoke or update power of attorney documents, you must send a written and notarized revocation form to your children and all health and financial companies that may have the power of attorney document on file.
This action allows you to appoint new agents if the children you appointed as co-agents cannot resolve differences and work together. Agents can also be replaced if they do not have the time to assist, if they resign, or lack the health or financial skills to be effective.
When creating documents, it is best to name primary and successor agents.
When a parent has a dementia diagnosis, the need to revoke POA documents or name new agents can present further challenges.If a parent has dementia, revoking a power of attorney can be difficult due to advancing memory loss.
A secondary challenge is when children as co-agents disagree and feel powerless to do what is in a parent’s best interest. These situations harm the parent who needs care and can negatively impact sibling relationships.
Power of Attorney Agent Conflict
Two siblings acting as power of attorney co-agents for a parent can clash over decisions like moving a parent out of the home or spending money on care.
When a power of attorney document does not provide direction for resolving disputes, siblings as co-agents may feel stuck. In these situations,
retaining a power of attorney advisor or appointing a power of attorney protector can help resolve differences.
While most families believe that two siblings acting as power of attorney agents will work smoothly, many do not. Many challenging scenarios occur that cannot be predicted. For example:
- One sibling can confuse the responsibilities of a power of attorney agent with those of a caregiver. This role confusion can lead to family conflict.
- A parent with dementia may accuse one child of going against their wishes. The sibling appointed as a co-agent may not support their brother’s or sister’s actions.
- A sibling as a power of attorney co-agent may be uncomfortable managing conflict or making difficult decisions that benefit a parent. These delays may harm a parent because the other sibling co-agent cannot act unless both agree.
Can Two Siblings Have Power of Attorney for An Aging Parent
As an aging parent, thoughtfully consider appointments for children as co-agents.
Devote the same consideration to appoint one child under a medical power of attorney and another child under a financial power of attorney. In addition, include written instructions in your power of attorney documents for resolving conflicts.
If you are an adult child considering the role of a power of attorney agent with a sibling, have honest discussions about how you will resolve conflict. Written agreements about how to resolve disagreements can be helpful. If differences or uncertainty about decision-making exists, consider discussions with experts.
There are many considerations to appoint a power of attorney. The more informed you are, the better choices you will make.
Are you interested in more tips about legal matters, health, caregiving, and family relationships? Check out the videos on Pamela’s YouTube channel.
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