Care of Elderly A to Z
Gain knowledge about the care of elderly A to Z to be the best caregiver for elderly parents, a spouse, and yourself. These 26 articles in the caregiving alphabet offer practical advice, information, and tips to give you a head start on various topics caregivers often face during the care journey.
The Caregiver Alphabet
A is for Advocacy
The article,
10 Tips to Advocate for Care in an Imperfect and Sometimes Insensitive Healthcare System acknowledges the struggles caregivers experience when working with medical personnel – doctors, nurses, hospital staff, nursing home staff, care community staff, home health and home care, and health insurance companies.
One of the top tips for advocacy is to establish relationships and become likable. You’ve probably heard the saying, “you catch more flies with honey.” If you want people to help you—as much as you may want to rant, scream, and be heard—becoming likable will get you much further.
B is for Bathing
The article,
Eliminating Fear and Turning Refusals into Agreements, can be helpful if you have tried to convince an elderly parent with dementia or Alzheimer’s to bathe or change their clothes and they refused.
You might hear, “I just took a bath or I just showered, or my clothes aren’t dirty.” The evidence of seeing food stains on clothing or noticing a body odor may tell otherwise. How do you maintain a loved one’s dignity while encouraging or helping with one of the most personal care tasks?
C is for Choices
Everyone has choices. Caregivers often say they didn’t have a choice to become a caregiver. Choosing to be a caregiver is a choice. Choosing not to be a caregiver is a choice. Everyone isn’t made out to be a caregiver.
The article
How Do I Accept My Life Choices as a Caregiver confirms that choices are made daily through actions and words. Even still, choices may not be ideal.
Learn how to accept your choices and change your future to have more choices so you can reach your goals and dreams.
D is for Dementia
Next in the caregiver alphabet of care for elderly is the article is
My Spouse with Dementia Doesn’t Know Me. If you are a spousal caregiver, the moment your husband or wife no longer recognizes you or is confused about who you are can be heartbreaking.
Your husband or wife may think you are their mother or father. Not being recognized by a parent can also be heartbreaking for children of a parent with dementia.
Forgetting is part of dementia and related memory loss diseases. Know that your presence can be comforting even if a husband, wife, mother, or father no longer recognizes you.
E is for Expectations
Expectations related to care for elderly parents and loved ones is a topic that can be discussed for hours. Adult children can empathize with this article,
When Aging Parents Expect Too Much.If you have not discussed care expectations with an elderly parent or a spouse, discuss them before care is needed, while it is easier to be logical about expectations. The challenge of not discussing expectations is that the person who needs care can become dependent on a caregiver who is on the way to burnout and exhaustion.
Caregiver burnout and exhaustion can lead to caregiver health problems and serious concerns of who will care for a loved one if the caregiver cannot.
F is for Facility
I’ve never liked the word facility. I prefer the word community. Healthcare professionals like to use the word facility.
A facility can be a hospital, nursing home, assisted living, memory care, or personal care home. The article is Discharge from Facility
Why Elderly Are Refused Care in Hospitals, Nursing Homes, and Assisted Living.If you are thinking about placing a loved one in a care community or have a loved one in a care community, learn important information to make sure there are no surprises about a loved one being discharged from a hospital or nursing home or asked to leave an assisted living or memory care community.
G is for Guardianship
I served as a professional guardian in the probate court system in Colorado from 2007 to 2018. It was an honor and an unforgettable opportunity of service.
Family members can be confused about what guardianship means.
Read What Does Guardianship of an Elderly Parent Mean to gain a better understanding of guardianship and a guardian’s responsibilities.
H is for Hospitalizations
Depending on your health condition or care needs of an elderly parent, a hospitalization can be your best or worst friend. Read
The Hazards of Hospitalization of Elderly to learn more.
If your elderly parent is admitted to the hospital for treatment and Mom or Dad isn’t a good advocate for themselves, show up to advocate for your parent’s needs.
The healthcare system has its own language, processes and procedures.
I is for “I’m So Tired of Being a Caregiver”
This article gives a serious and lighthearted look at the blessings and struggles of being a caregiver. In the article
I’m So Tired of Being a Caregiver, I share experiences from my years managing care for the elderly and supporting family caregivers.
If family or friends don’t understand why you are so busy or tired, share this article to help them understand and maybe even appreciate your caregiving efforts
J is for Job
How to Keep a Job and Care for Elderly Parents covers working and the challenges of taking time off work for caregiving activities.
If you are a working spouse or adult child, you know that balancing life and holding down a job can be a struggle as you work to please everyone in your life and come out at the bottom of that list.
Gain statistics and insights about caregivers who work and their experiences of potential discrimination and risks of losing a job because of caregiver responsibilities.
While having and raising children and talking about them in the workplace is acceptable, caring for an elderly loved still does not receive the same level of acceptance or understanding by supervisors or managers.
K is for Know or Knowledge
This caregiving alphabet of articles about care for elderly includes
Power of Attorney What Family Caregivers Don’t Know.There is more than meets the eye when talking about power of attorney appointments and agent responsibilities. If you are a spouse and you have not named an agent to act for you as power of attorney or if you are an adult child and your parents have not created their legal documents to appoint a power of attorney agent, this article offers basic information you need to know.
The article and the course on my website are based on my years of experience as a professional power-of-attorney agent, medical and financial, for my clients.
Knowing, Knowledge, and Wisdom
On the topic of knowing, knowledge, and wisdom, visit my YouTube channel, where you will find over 900 videos answering questions caregivers ask. If you have a question you want answered, create a new post on one of the videos on my channel.
You can also complete the caregiver survey on my website and let me know what caregiver alphabet topic you’d like to see if a video.
A to Z of Elder Care | Tips, Articles & Practical Advice
Click on the red arrow in the photo below to watch the video.
Click the red arrow button in the picture below to watch the video.
L is for Love
Caregivers have asked
Why Caregiving is Exhausting Even When You Love Your Parents.As a caregiver, you have a never-ending to-do list, especially if you work full time and are responsible for yourself or your family and the person you care for.
Some caregivers have difficulty saying “no.” Taking on more and more work leads to physical and emotional exhaustion. If you are having days where you are mentally stressed or exhausted, it’s time to create a different plan and invest some time in yourself.
Doing things for yourself is not selfish. If you don’t care for yourself, you can’t take care of others.
Why is Caregiving So Exhausting Even When You Love Your Parents?
M is for Marriage
Being married or partnered and caring for one or two sets of elderly parents can lead to
Choosing Between a Spouse and An Elderly Parent.Your parents’ health is suffering and they need you. Your spouse also wants to spend time with you but is healthy. Who do you choose?
If you are the spouse caring for a mother or father, do not be naïve to the effects of choosing your parents over your spouse. While this can be managed in the short term, in the long run, caring for an elderly parent and ignoring a spouse can have serious consequences.
N is for No
No is for
Caregiver Regrets: No Life, No Job, No Friends. Caregivers become isolated and lonely when they trade parts of their lives for care tasks.
What have you given up? Time for you, time with friends, time with a spouse or partner, time for exercise, time for things you love?
If you are not yet in this position, catch yourself before you trade too much of your life to care for an elderly loved one and it’s you saying I have no life, no job, and no friends.
O is for Overwhelming
There are probably a million reasons why caring for aging parents can feel overwhelming. In
10 Reasons Why Caring for Aging Parents Can Feel Overwhelming you can learn about caregiver responsibilities you may never imaging.
Reason one on the list is doing things you never imagined, like changing Depends or helping an elderly parent bathe or use the toilet. These needs arise, and what do caregivers do? They jump in and do the work and then become overwhelmed.
P is for Power and Parent
Two articles in this alphabet of caregiving are
Power of Attorney for an Elderly Parent and
When One Sibling Takes Care of Parents.
Before you accept the responsibility of agent for an elderly parent, make sure you know what you are accepting. Alternately, if you have siblings and one of them is the main caregiver for an elderly parent, learn why it’s important to stay in touch and stay involved even if you are not providing direct care.
Learn essential tips to avoid internal issues with disagreements over power of attorney in your family.
Q is for Quit
Why Do Caregivers Quit? Many reasons include the articles shared in this care of elderly A to Z alphabet.
Some caregivers dream of running away. They imagine walking out the door and never coming back. Getting in the car, driving off into the sunset, never to return.
If you are a caregiver starting to burn out or wear out, be proactive in making other plans before you arrive at the point of quitting.
While you don’t always have to be the caregiver, if you have been involved, there is a responsibility to suggest or set up an alternate care situation for an elderly parent before you quit.
R is for Rights
Dementia Human Rights & Choices. Persons with memory loss, especially if they have no one to advocate for them, can be ignored by healthcare providers or people who are supposed to be caring for them.
Losing rights and choices is why an early diagnosis can be helpful so that you can make a plan before memory loss progresses too far. Persons with advancing memory loss become increasingly vulnerable to the intentions and care of others.
This article is even more important if you don’t have family who will care for you.
S is for Sibling
Is Your Sibling Abusing Power of Attorney for An Elderly Parent? There are as many good caregiver families as families who have challenges as the result of imperfect parent-child relationships.
Sometimes, aging parents feel responsible for a child who struggles to care for him or herself. If this child never moves out of the house they may be appointed as the default agent under medical or financial power of attorney.
Whether this is good or bad can depend on a child’s sense of entitlement to a parent’s money or property. So, if you care about your elderly parents, consider getting involved and making sure that your sibling who is power of attorney is doing a good and honorable job.
T is for Too Much
When Caregiving Becomes Too Much offers five things to do when caregiving becomes too much. Having a plan and a backup plan can be helpful to avoid unnecessary stress.
If you are reading this article, listening to podcast episode 215 or watching the video, you are well ahead of other caregivers. You know the value of caregiver education and support.
As a caregiver, learning opportunities are constant. There’s always something to learn. If you are feeling doubtful, frustrated, or isolated, this caregiver alphabet of articles has much to offer in addition to the other support on this website.
U is for UTI or Urinary Tract Infection.
UTI is a caregiver acronym frequently used by healthcare providers. The elderly, especially those with a diagnosis of dementia, can experience urinary tract infections.
Drinking enough water and other liquids flushes bacteria out of the urinary tract system.
Learn how Urinary Tract Infections Result in Confusion and Delusions for the Elderly. V is for oVer
When Elderly Mother Lets Husband Take Over, is a hot topic among families in the care of elderly A to Z. The number of blended families is growing.
Getting to know step-siblings and a stepmother or stepfather can take effort if you are growing up and managing your own life. While building these relationships may be the last thing on your mind, having good relationships with everyone in the family is a good idea because eventually, your mother, father, stepmother, or stepfather will need care.
What happens then? Which children step in? Will there be money to pay for care? Getting to know a step-parent and siblings before care needs arise can save a lot of anxiety and worry later on.
W is for Expert Witness
I am an
Expert Witness in Caregiving, Home Care, and Guardianship. Learn about the role of an expert witness who supports individuals, families, or corporations when serious issues arise in care or caregiving situations or relationships.
While no one ever thinks they may become involved in a court matter or litigation, having information about an expert witness with the skills to help can be exactly what’s needed if or when you find yourself in a legal situation.
X is for toXic and eXit plan
The caregiver alphabet letter X has two features. The first is an article called
Toxic Caregiving Habits and the second a video called Caregiving Exit Plan.
Caregivers, because of the ongoing stress of daily life and care responsibilities, can fall into toxic habits that lower self-esteem. Caregivers can also be in denial or procrastinate to do something that is necessary but unpleasant for one reason or another.
Another toxic habit can be living in battle energy, where you feel like you are fighting the world. Giving off battle energy can affect the way others interact with you, including their willingness to be helpful. Every caregiver needs helpful people in their lives.
If you’ve been a caregiver for some time and are done. Maybe it’s time to create a
Caregiving Exit Plan.Y is for whY
Why Saying No to Caregiving is Easier Than You Think. This article offers insights to help caregivers learn why they continually say yes.
If you constantly say yes, is it time to start saying no, even if you are saying no to small things, so that you can become comfortable saying no?
Learning to say no is good practice so that you don’t overextend yourself. You will be surprised how good saying no feels really good when you get good at saying no to more work or responsibilities that drain your energy or provide no benefit.
Z is recogniZE
How to RecogniZe Self-Destructive Caregiving Habits. The end of the caregiver alphabet focused on success and avoiding habits that take caregivers further away from their goals.
Self-destructive habits are those you might fall into when stressed out. For example, do you crave sweets or salty snacks when you are under stress? At the same time, you may be trying to lose weight or be healthier.
Responding to stress with a habit that takes you far away from what you want to do is a self-destructive habit. Learn how to be proactive with triggers or events that lead to self-destructive caregiver habits.
How to Recognize Self-Destructive Caregiving Behaviors
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