True customer service is about making one decision at a time both in whom we attract as customers, whom we keep as customers, and how we realign ourselves when we get out of sync with them. If you religiously follow the policy and procedures manual and worship rigidity, your robotic style of customer service will lack human touch and intelligence. A situation that illustrates the cost of such inflexibility occurred when a large group of us had a close connection at the airport in St. Louis. Although time was of the essence, we all politely sat on a shuttle, waiting several minutes for it to depart to the other wing of the airport where our flight would be leaving in just minutes. Like well- conditioned mice, we all respectfully and passively waited for the shuttle operator to turn the key. Finally, I got up and confronted the driver with the seriousness of the situation, pointing out that, if she did not leave immediately, the airlines would lose thousands of dollars housing all of us for the night due to the fact that we were about to miss our connecting flight. The response I received indicated the shuttle left every fifteen minutes as if it were on an automatic timer, and there was no choice or hope for human intervention and intelligence. There seemed to be little concern that we would all miss our flights even though it was 11:00 p.m., and there would be no more connecting flights requiring the shuttle service. Having little patience for such a display of cerebral breakdown, I became quite proactive in the pursuit of the lost art of common sense, convincing her that logic should supercede the rules. She finally decided to deliver us to our destination. Only the physically fit were able to make their connecting flights. Unfortunately, the driver was caught up in the fear of losing her job should she bend the rules. There can be no logic to your service unless you empower your employees to, above all, use their heads! Actually, it was not just the shuttle driver who was programmed to passivity, but all of the passengers who felt so totally helpless — they simply resigned themselves to a phantom impossibility. The point is that most outrageously positive customer service is simply making good judgments and decisions that may require more than mechanical analysis.

Objectivity makes good sense in math but is deficient in the service industry. It is essential that our decisions and responses to each and every situation be a balance of input from both the head and heart. We need to pay attention to the sensory feedback our body gives us, which is often a gut feeling, also known as intuition, direct knowing, or unconventional wisdom. All hybrid decision-making requires a development of our intuitive sense of what is right and wrong. Much more sophisticated than a computer, the mind weighs the emotional pros and cons from our emotional memory of past experiences and provides feedback via a hunch or gut feeling.

John Seely Brown, director of Xerox Corporation's Silicon Valley R&D facility, made it clear that rather than a high IQ or GPA, he looks for people who have grounded intuitions and a passion for making an impact. Thus it's essential not just to attract our perfect customer with whom we can create a natural synergy and alignment, but also to choose the appropriate people as employees. Hire for attitude and teach the skills. To provide service that is in sync and in alignment with your customers, you must first hire employees who have personal alignment and self-awareness. You and your employees must be aware and conscious of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions and how they affect others. Our actions determine the response we get, and, in attempting to realign ourselves with an angered, dissatisfied customer, it is important to remember that what we give out is what we get back. Emotional management is crucial to maintaining a symbiotic relationship that is mutually satisfying and beneficial.

Where attention goes, energy flows. Your thoughts are the seeds of the realities you create. We previously discussed the importance of knowing the customer's expectations as their reality. It is essential to know and understand your own expectations, which must be purely positive for positive outcomes. An obstacle is something you see only when you take your eyes off the goal. "As you sow, so shall you reap." Studies with sales people have demonstrated as much as a 37 percent increase in sales when they were conditioned to expect "yes." Expect that every crisis is an opportunity in disguise. Always seek what you can learn from every experience. There is a Zen saying, "All experience is education for the soul." No one is your enemy, everyone is your teacher. Expect all breakdowns to be breakthroughs. Expect a miracle!

Self-awareness is a prerequisite for empathy and compassion, which Daniel Goldman refers to as our social radar. He states the key to knowing others' emotional terrain is an intimate familiarity with our own. Empathy is not only reading another's emotions, but also being able to sense and respond to unspoken concerns and feelings. Lacking such sensitivity makes us emotionally tone deaf. Anybody who thinks customers aren't important should try doing without them for ninety days! While computers may offer economic efficiency, they have no soul. They do not feel and have no emotion and thus cannot motivate or be motivated. With the primary needs of many customers being interaction, participation, inclusion, and affiliation, customer care will always require just that . . . care. Computers compute, but only people have the capacity to care.

Since even good marriages will have a "falling out" from time to time, so, too, we may fall out of alignment with our usually in-sync customers. Here are a few tips for getting back in sync, creating an even stronger bond, connection, and loyalty.

          •        Listen. Listen. Listen. Your silence speaks.

•        Be attentive. Affirm and validate them. Offer empathy and understanding. See their concerns through their eyes, hear with their ears, and feel with their heart. It's difficult to sustain anger when you are both in agreement.

•        Resist the temptation to defend your point of view. They will not hear a word you say until you have first given them your ear and your understanding. In fact, an early defense will only escalate emotions and increase the intensity of their anger. You want to open doors, not build walls.

•        Become "one" with them. Use "we" language to regain a sense of alignment and reduce polarity and opposition. Stand side-by-side to suggest a buddy relationship rather than a position of direct opposition. Your body speaks!

          •        Ask questions that direct attention to solutions and problem-

solving rather than allow customers to wallow in unproductive anger, conflict, and negativity. Again, ask what "we" can do to solve the problem and create a united front. It invites them to participate and thus feel more empowered, transforming blame into a mutual sense of responsibility.

•        Reframe their perceptions. There are two sides or pros and cons to every situation. For example, if someone is angered because the wait has been long, acknowledge those feelings to get in sync and alignment, and only then suggest the positive perspective of the same situation, which may be that it takes time to give customers the attention they need. You may even

wish to get their permission before offering your suggestions. It is more difficult to refute that to which we have concurred.

•        When in a hole, rule number one is . . . don't dig! Never lie. People are forgiving. Ask for forgiveness rather than offer phony excuses that may force customers to seek justice by creating bigger traps. The nation forgave Betty Ford for her alcohol dependence and your disgruntled customers will

forgive you, if you ask. Lies not only cause people to feel betrayed and deceived but erode all trust, which is the glue in every type relationship.

•        Ask them what they would do if they were you. Role reversal allows them to see with your eyes, hear with your ears, and feel with your heart. It invites them to understand you, empathize with you, and become one with you. What goes around comes around. If you recall, one of the first points I made suggested that you see the world, and specifically  their problem, through their eyes.

•        If the answers lie within . . . so do the solutions. However, you must ask the right questions. I would recommend asking your disgruntled customers, "What would you like me to do?" Simple questions often yield profound solutions and resolution.

•        Love your customers and they will love you. We all mirror each other. If you want it, first you must give it.

Having lived in Green Bay, Wisconsin, home of the infamous Green Bay Packers and cheese heads, I have witnessed customer loyalty and enthusiasm at its best. Their zealousness is second only to the excitement of the Badger fans at the University ofWisconsin where, win or lose, the fifth quarter is always a celebration.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin, is home of another group of fanatically devout fans. If you don't own the "hog," you don't own a motorcycle, according to customers and family of the Harley Davidson clan. Talk about kinship. Every size, sex, and sector of humanity is represented in this loyal group of fanatical fans. They all own, drive, and love their Harleys and religiously celebrate a very special common bond. Now that's turning your customers into raving fans! By the way, there is a shortage of these machines so if you want to join the club, you will have to take a number and wait your turn!

Edie Raether is an international speaker, corporate consultant and authority on customer satisfaction. She is also a bestselling author with seven books in numerous languages.  Visit Edie at www.Raether.com or call (704) 658-899.