How did it get to be the middle of July already? It must be that thing they call time, as in time flies, time passes, and time's up. All I know is that in the time I have been alive, I have witnessed the first man in space, the first man on the moon, and the first time two guys with more money than they need built their own rockets and went for a ride.

    Billionaire Richard Branson flew to space first, and this week Jeff Bezos joined the Billionaire Boys Rocket Club when he took off in his own rocket which quickly became an international dick joke. Normal rockets come to a point on top but this one was sculpted to look like it would require about 30,000 D cell batteries.

    Both of the billionaires said they are working to provide tourism to space, where there is no Corona virus…yet. On Earth, the new Lambda variant has joined the Delta variant, so all we need now is one more variant for a virus fraternity. Let's hope that doesn't happen, and instead have a good laugh at the knuckleheads in the news.

WOKE COKE

    We all know these people, they are vegan, organic, and middle class. In England, that means they will buy anything. Drug dealers are now offering cocaine that is "environmentally friendly" and "ethically sourced" and selling "woke coke" for  £200 ($275).

    First off, cocaine is bad for you, even if it's ethically sourced from one of those ethical eco-conscious countries in South America where the peasants who are farming it are paid a reasonable wage. And I'm sure that it was legally transported to England.

    All I know is that if there are any coke heads in England with this kind of money to waste, I have a very eco-friendly ethically sourced bridge to sell you in New York.

THIS IS JUST NUTS

    Ryan King, 28, is from Brisbane, Australia and he pleaded guilty in court this week to two counts of malicious acts. He is not a doctor but he performed two voluntary castrations, in his backyard, and filmed himself doing it. He did the neutering on two men he met on a eunuch website. And while the existence of a eunuch website is disturbing, so is sack snipping in your backyard. 

    King was sentenced to 3 and a half years but was given a suspended sentence and instructed to stay 50 feet away from anything that is suspended.

THREE'S NOT COMPANY

    Friday Funnies contributor Donna Earl sent this story about three young girls aged 18, 19, and 21. Two live in Boise, Idaho, and one lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. They met on the internet when they saw pictures of their boyfriend with other women. It turns out that they were all dating the same man. At the same time! How did he pull that off?

    The girls decided to get over their traumatic experience by buying a used VW Bus, redoing the interior, and taking it on a month's long road trip. They drove, and cried, and bonded, and became best friends. They decided to plan another trip next year and even agreed to take their old boyfriend with them. They're all going to Brisbane to visit Mr. King's backyard.