My mother took me to church at the age of five. It was close to where we lived. In those days during World War II, we had to walk. Each Sunday we strolled down the avenue to the church in the neighborhood. I earned a gold lapel pin in Sunday School to wear with a number. My pin had the number 10 for years of perfect attendance. As I grew older, my mother decided it was time for confirmation classes to become a member of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod.

Since we had moved out of the neighborhood to a new home, the distance to attend the classes was a big challenge. Every week for two years, I took the school bus to where I could catch a county bus into Seattle. I then transferred to a city bus that let me off on the other side of a lake from the church, where I then completed the trip to the church on foot. Conveniently, my parents picked me up at a neighbor's near the church to take me home at night.

I always have been a diligent student and learning the Biblical Stories and memorizing the Small Catechism by Luther was the program of study.  I know today the catechism was the dogma and beliefs of the church. I now know that religious beliefs are rules placed upon us. I did the memory work, but never took it to heart as I was in survival growing up. It was just words to me. Therefore, I was not entirely indoctrinated. This ultimately served me well.

However, I did attend church and continued to take my own children to church for their confirmation classes.  During my domestic violent marriage, church was a safe place to be.  I was out of the house and in a pleasant environment. I understand now how it did benefit me to have a safer place then being home, in those days. However, when I needed to ask myself the deep questions in recovery from addictions to the prescriptions, I found that the church dogma did not keep me from being addicted. I needed different answers that were more realistic not for just surviving in life, but how to thrive without medications.  

In treatment, I was introduced to a path of spirituality to replace the medications. It took a while for me to understand the difference between religion and being spiritual. I had lived from my head/ego trying to be safe for years thinking someone would save me from the trauma. Moving into listening to my heart was new to me. In fact, my church preached against meditation saying it was the voice of the devil. Consequently, this was a traumatic shift in commitment. Taking that step of faith was harrowing. Using a higher power of love was foreign, as I did not know about love. I was raised that love hurt. Therefore, I had closed my heart as my stepfather said, "I am only beating you because I love you".

I needed to attend 12 step programs to stop the addiction route. Over time, I found my old beliefs had underlined my addiction. I was looking for love in all the wrong places.   As I released my fears, guilt, shame, and more, I replaced the negative for the positive. My life began to shift into a more pleasant life. Realizing that I had lived in fear and negative messages of beliefs that were not true was a huge awakening.  Since life is about cause and effect, my cause had a base in fear and falsehoods. I found affirming the truth brought real results. I was determined to change my negativity into being positive for better outcomes. I had allowed the dogma and creeds of the church that were placed on me to be the focal point of my thinking and actions. Replacing the old beliefs with affirmations to affirm the truth replaced the lack of truth about who I am. I now understood God is always positive. I have always been loved. I am a worthy person.

Learning that the word beliefs has the word "lie" in it was now meaningful. I was taught lies to live by. If God is always positive and PURE LOVE, then I am not a sinner, nor guilty for the past, nor is there a hell. I did not cause anyone to die. In my just published book, "A Spark of Truth" at Amazon, I share how this dogma through the Nicene Creed in 425AD became the basis for many religions for centuries. It is also affecting us today.In the future, I have to find the truth for me and listen to my heart, I want to be led to that future reality by my feelings; they are guiding me towards the truths that serve me best. I move from listening to others, authority, experts, or my head into listening to my heart and the truth within me. This is why it is important to know that it serves me more to process information through my body than through my minds. If something does not feel good to me, then I no longer pay it attention.

I had based what I believed to be true on what others told me. I learned to change my focus on faith and listening to my heart messages, rather than in beliefs.. I think for myself today.. I found love never fails. What goes around comes around. I moved into being a love-based person and send that out for happy returns.

I discovered there is another way to view life; I get to choose which action to take, and how to imagine what feels good. Selecting my own path puts me into harmony with the real me and what is around me. Try feeling into it, determining for yourself whether it is a road you really want to go down, and a reality you actually want to experience. You can feel into the truth of it, then you know that what you feel is telling you it is true for you; it feels good. That love creates was new to me.

My book, "Paradigm Busters" at Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Marilyn-Redmond/e/B0069WIKDChas the process of how I moved into my heart from the negativity of my past. Today I live from my Creator's spirit of love and not my old beliefs. I know in my heart are the answers to my life for loving solutions. I see through the eyes of love. "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17   Maturity is no longer living in the immaturity of fear. PURE LOVE brings us into unity and community. 

My newest book, "A Spark of Truth" at Amazon has the history to how the church doctrine has been used to misinform people for the benefit of those manipulating and controlling our lives. https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Truth-Rev-Marilyn-Redmond/dp/0944851630 In addition, "A Spark of Truth" has current information about how we have been told other beliefs that do not serve us presently.