It’s well-accepted that being single during the holiday season is a hard burden to bear. Between watching friends couple up, and family lean into their relationships, the loneliness can be discouraging enough to turn anyone into a bit of a Scrooge. “Bah Humbug!”

Yet, how you approach life, and specifically the holidays (or any special event for that matter) will impact both your experiences and how people experience you.

People are naturally drawn to those who are positive, fun, and affirming.

Are you warm, approachable, happy, cheerful, and positive most of the time? Or are you a worrier, negative, sad, angry, and critical? Has being single made you even more pessimistic and jaded?

We are rarely only one thing all the time. We all have stresses in our lives even though we may not show it. And at times, we wear our hearts on our sleeves, showing our softer selves. But too often we don’t intentionally manage which part of ourselves we are putting out there. And when we aren’t mindful of that, those around us don’t get to experience our best. 

The holidays are about giving and sharing. The joy and generosity of the season create opportunities for us to lean into love, even if it’s not with a romantic partner. Although it may still be nice to have someone special to share this time of year with.

As you meet new people during the holidays, be aware of what you are putting out there- what energy others are feeling from you – positive or negative (or your vibe, as some call it). It does affect how attractive others see you, and not just physically. It’s what you exude from the inside out, who you communicate yourself to be.

So being single, how do you keep yourself positive and upbeat when you do meet new people during the holidays?

Here are several strategies that may work for you. You may try one or them all!

• Surround yourself with positivity.

  It’s hard to have an abundant, positive outlook when you are immersed in negativity, anger, or pessimism. Decide to only hang out with positive and affirming people who care about you and think you are the best. If you find you are surrounded by people who are overly critical or pessimistic, especially towards you, it might be time to set some boundaries or ditch those Negative Nellies altogether!

• Adopt an abundant mindset.

  That means intentionally looking at the dating space with the perspective that there are plenty of great guys or gals waiting to meet you! Don’t let being single make you approach love from a place of scarcity. That won’t serve you; it will only make you more anxious and insecure.

• Find a positive wing-person.

  Enlist the help of a trusted fan of yours who can help you meet new people. When you are out or looking, this person is there to help encourage you and talk up your good points. Really pay attention to how supportive this person is of you and your journey. If you don’t feel like you have someone like this, then perhaps it’s time to widen up your face-to-face social network!

• Participate in activities that make you feel good about yourself.

  Try volunteering for a cause that you believe in. Not only does this allow your true positive nature to surface, but by surrounding yourself with others who share your passions, ideals, causes, etc. you increase your chances of finding like-minded love interests. If nothing else, you will be in a more positive mindset and get connected with other similarly minded new friends.

• Spend time with your loved ones, be it a parent, elderly relative, children, or dear friends.

  Often, being single during the holidays makes you think that avoiding loved ones and couples will make you feel better. But what that is really doing is creating a self-fulfilling cycle of negativity and loneliness. Don’t avoid love, but lean into it. Not only will it encourage you, but you’ll be an encouragement to those who also need attention and love. Even coupled people feel lonely and long for deeper relationships with friends and family.

  This may also look like traveling with others to new places, experiences, events, or cultures. This is a great way to meet new people too! There are many winter travel groups, some that even specialize in singles trips, that will open you up to positive experiences. Just make sure you go into it with that abundant, positive mindset.

No matter what, the holidays are a time for spreading hope, joy, generosity, and being with family and friends. Being single during the holidays doesn’t change that.

If you feel positive about life and yourself, then others will surely be attracted to you. What most people want is someone they can enjoy life’s experiences with, as well as, someone who accepts them for who they truly are (the good and the bad).

And the best thing you can do when you are out meeting new people is to focus on all the good you have to offer to a relationship; not your perceived deficiencies. You too deserve to have true, lasting love in your life!

P.S. New Year’s Day is the single most popular day to be online! Maybe your special someone will be online too! Grab my free Online Dating Checklist to make sure you are ready for January 1!