How Relationships Reduce Bullying and Increase Achievement

Process Communication is an effective model developed by Kahler and presented by Judith and  Joseph Pauley of George Mason  and Plymouth State University.  As school environments become unsafe places, academic achievement suffers which creates additional stress for teachers who are accountable for their students' improvement.

Recent research shows that bullying is reduced and students are motivated to learn when their teachers care about them and there is a positive relationship. "Savage (1991) put it this way: 'Students who get their needs met in the classroom seldom cause problems.'"

Teachers tend to relate better to those students who are motivated the same way they are motivated and thus those students tend to do well in those classes. Those motivated by other factors are often labeled "reluctant learners" and often act out in class, challenge teachers and bully other students.

Kahler's Model includes the following six personality types:

1. Reactors: Compassionate, sensitive, warm, emotional and nice
2. Workoholics: Responsible, logical, organized, structured, rules and controlling
3. Persisters: Conscientious, dedicated, observant, high values, committed, dedicated
4. Dreamers: Reflective, imaginative, calm, possibility thinker, random, shut down
5. Rebels: Creative, spontaneous, playful, humorous, blame and act our or drop out
6. Promoters: Challenge, action, excitement, persuasive, adaptive, charming.                                                                                   Kahler's research showed that most adults easily access two or three parts of their personality, while children access only one or two parts. Many teachers are most developed as a Reactor, Workaholic and a Persister and thus the Dreamers, Rebels and Promoters are most frequently in trouble and have the highest dropout rate.

Kahler also discussed three levels of distress - 1st degree, 2nd degree and 3rd degree. First degree is the least intense and third degree is the most intense or depression. Bullying behavior occurs when people are in 2nd degree distress and their motivational needs are not met positively, especially their need to belong. When teachers help students meet their individual needs positively, negative behaviors such as bullying decrease and their grades and motivation to learn increase.

While some people will always be bullies and others will always be victims, many are sometimes bullies and others are sometimes victims.  Kahler found that two-thirds of the people in North America change their motivations at least once during their lifetimes as a result of sustained, severe distress caused by not getting their motivational needs met for prolonged periods of time.  These life changes, where their motivation and distress behaviors change, may last for two years to a lifetime.

Stress Becomes the Danger Zone

Managing stress is thus an essential element to the reduction of bullying and other aggressive behaviors.  It is also crucial to the prevention of getting into the victim mentality.  In other words, distress contributes to poor decision making and causes us to give up our power or to abuse it. 

Persisters and Workaholics when distressed tend to become bullies. Rebels and Promoters blame and manipulate others and also become bullies. Therefore, Persisters, Workaholics, Promoters and Rebels are persecutors and often will bully others, while Reactors and Dreamers are often the victims. The various levels of distress one experiences can shift a bully to a victim and a victim to a bully. For example, a Reactor in a Workaholic phase may bully under normal distress, but become a victim when in severe distress. Karpman's Drama Triangle explains the dynamics of such shifts in detail.

Needs of Each Personality Type

1. Reactors: Acceptance, liked and given personal recognition for being nice
2. Workaholics: Structure and recognized for hard work and accomplishments
3. Persisters: Respected for meaningful work and contribution
4. Dreamers: Private space and time to reflect
5. Rebels: Fun, movement and physical activity
6. Promoters: Action, excitement, movement, and challenge

Cultural difference must also be considered. Research by Bradley in 2007 listed cultural differences between the qualities in the Euro American culture and the African American culture. African American students, especially boys, need movement, emotional expressiveness and verbal communications, spontaneity, practice and experimentation.

They prefer visual and performing arts, and need to see the total context of information. These traits are those of the Rebels and Promoters and thus those needs must be considered when teachers are doing lesson plans to close the achievement gap and reduce bullying.

The results of various schools who have implemented the Process Communication Model are astounding and will report just one school's success here.  The Apache Junction Unified School District in Arizona has implemented the system for over 23 years.  After just three years, the number of students in trouble was reduced from 33 percent to less than 2 percent. The failure rate at the 7th and 8th grade level was reduced from 20 percent to less than 2 percent as well. Student achievement at every grade level improved dramatically and graduation rates increased. Students entering post secondary training such as college increased from 19 percent to more than 43 percent.  Employee turnover was reduced from 43 percent to less than 5 percent and employee satisfaction and staff morale were at an all time high. One of the teachers who has practiced this program for over 20 years said she had not had one single problem since applying the principles of the course.

As teachers and parents we must understand individual differences and respond to the varying needs of each child to create the trust necessary for a relationship that not only motivates students, but engages them by speaking their language. It is the ultimate affirmation of their value and worth. When we feel valued, we fulfill our promise and encourage others in the discovery of theirs as well. 

Edie Raether, known as the Bully Buster, is an international speaker, trainer and bestselling author of several books including Stop Bullying Now. Visit Edie at www.StopBullyingWithEdie.com. or contact her at edie@raether.com.