It’s easy to work together better when things are going well, but inevitably there will be conflicts, confusion and miscommunication that need to be addressed. The words we choose can make or break the way we work—especially when things are not going as planned.

What does that look like in real life?

Communicate with Candor—And Kindness

We work together better when we can communicate with candor—and kindness. The word choice doesn’t require a radical change, just a small adjustment in our approach.  For example:

• Make requests with phrases such as “I need your help” instead of blaming with “You never help.”
• Express concerns with “I would appreciate” instead of dictating with “You better.”
• Seek solutions with open-ended questions such “How can we resolve this?” or “What would you like to see happen?”
  

  
  Avoid Negative Phrases That Incite Pushback

We work together better when we can avoid using negative phrases that insult others and incite pushback, and instead use phrases that inspire a more positive response:

• “What will work is…” instead of “That won’t work.”
• “You might want to consider” instead of “You should.”
• “I have a different understanding” instead of “You’re wrong.”

Choose Positive Words to Work Together Better Online

We must consider what we’re saying not just in person, but also when we communicate online. Because so many people are now working remotely, this has become even more critical.  Choosing positive words to include in your emails maintains the approachability that is sometimes lost when communicating virtually.  To work together better online, consider these phrases:

• “Please” and “Thank you” are still the magic words. Saying “Please get this to me by Friday” sounds a lot more positive than “Get this to me by Friday.” More on the magic words in my blog post Two Magic Words That Make You More Positive
• Use “can do” words such as “absolutely,” “certainly” and “definitely.” How reassuring to receive an email that says, “We can absolutely meet your deadline!”
• Use problem solving words that encourage and affirm: “We appreciate you,” “We’re optimistic,” “We’re grateful for your business,” “We understand.”

A while back I surveyed some of my Facebook followers, asking them for their favorite positive words and summarized them in this blog post entitled 31 Positive Words to Make Your Half-Empty Glass full.  Please take a look for additional positive phrases to help you work together better.

So, we can work together better with these small changes in our choice of words.  “Work Together Better” has been my speaking business tagline since 2001 and I share the insights I’ve gleaned over the years in my two books-turned keynote speeches. The books ask and answer the quintessential question:  If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?  Say What You Mean in a Nice Way.