Welcome to summer! Well, it's not actually summer until June 21, which is one month before Jeff Bezos goes for a rocket ride in space. Bezos, the founder of Amazon, is going to space in a rocket made by his company, Blue Origin. This will be the first flight of Blue Origin with REAL PEOPLE on board. Bezos invited his brother Mark to join him and has put the last open seat on the auction block. So if you would like to risk your life for an 11-minute ride to space in brand new (read untested) rocket ship, the current high bid is $3,800,000. And they probably won't even serve a meal.

    Perhaps I should start a Go Fund Me page to raise money to bid on that seat. Then we could have a raffle to see which one of you gets the maiden voyage seat, because it's not going to be me.

    I prefer to take my risks right here at home. Even though fully vaccinated, I remain a bit paranoid and continue to wear a mask, but now it's a Halloween mask, just to mess with people. I will also continue to stay 6 feet away from most people, and even further away for others. It cuts down on small talk. 

    There is no small talk in this week's Funnies, just big bizarre news.

HOW MUCH TO VALET?

    If you are still wondering why anybody would pay almost $4 million for a ride to space, what do you think somebody would pay for a parking space in Hong Kong? At the luxury Mount Nicholson residential project, a parking space recently sold for $1.3 million. How much money do these people have? 

    I wonder what it costs to use the parking meters on the street. You probably have to insert a bitcoin for every 20 minutes. I think if we went door to door in this project, we'd find the high bidder for Air Bezos.

ROYAL LOVE CHILD

    Simon Dorante-Day is a 55-year-old Australian who claims to be the love child of Prince Charles and Camilla who would have conceived him when they were teenagers. He also shared photos showing the likeness between him, Prince Charles and Camilla. He is currently pleading his case in Australian high court to obtain DNA tests from the royals to prove his lineage. Good luck but I don't know if he has a case.

    He may look like Charles and Camilla but so do a lot of people. Charles and Camilla even look like each other, and they both look like Don Knotts. If Simon proves his point, however, I see a new season of The Royals in the works.

I'M ALWAYS POINTING NORTH

    Joanna Overholt is a registered nurse in Ohio who spoke before the Ohio House Health Committee to claim that COVID-19 vaccines will make people magnetic. To prove her point, she showed how a car key would stick to her neck. Unfortunately, the key was aluminum so it fell right off. 

    Personally, I wish Joanna's claim were true. I would love to be magnetic. Instead of Post-It notes, I could stick messages to myself with refrigerator magnets, and it would be fun to walk down the paper clip aisle at Office Depot just to see what happens.