Living in a home with constant marital abuse is a sure bet to damage children’s mental health and sense of security.

How many times have we heard the advice given to women in abusive marital relationships, "Stay together for the kids." The advice is well-intended but totally off the mark for both the children's and the mother's mental health, as research has shown.

Remaining in an abusive relationship, in a household where abuse is the answer to everything, is an unhealthy situation, and everyone will pay a price in the future; the children are especially at risk. Another old chestnut of advice to women is to "Have a baby, and that will keep the marriage together." Again, this is no resolution to abuse, which must be dealt with, and pregnancy is not the answer. In fact, research shows that when women are pregnant, they are much more likely to result in worse violence and even death by their abuser.

Homicides involving intimate partner violence and weapons are associated with a lethal combination of pregnant women and new mothers in the United States, outnumbering deaths from obstetric reasons. What about children in these situations of abuse?

Witnessing Domestic Violence

The term “childhood domestic violence” (CDV) describes a pattern of abuse and neglect in which children are witnesses rather than victims. Although CDV is less severe than DV, it can cause severe trauma and has far-reaching effects that last a lifetime.

Witnessing the abuse of a parent (here, meaning any adult in a parenting role, including a stepparent, guardian, or parent’s partner), hearing or seeing the effects of domestic violence, or being involved with the police are all examples of categories of CDV. Being present in the same room as an abusive incident could expose children to the trauma. Children often hear arguments, screams, and other loud noises in the house, even if they can not see what is happening.

The children do not, therefore, escape the violence since they are perceiving it even when they are not directly in front of it. A child trembling in another room is as much a victim as the person being victimized. There is no escape from this traumatic experience, and it will be carried with children from then on and require remediation in their lives. How might this affect their lives in the future?

An individual’s likelihood of engaging in various forms of criminal behavior is approximately doubled in cases of child maltreatment, and we can consider child domestic violence as maltreatment. This holds true regardless of whether we compare identical twins, one of whom experienced maltreatment while the other did not.

Juvenile and adult arrest rates are higher for children who have been victims of abuse or neglect. A person’s lawful endeavors, such as going to school or working, may diminish as their involvement in illicit ones grows through increased experience in criminal activities.

There is no paucity of information on early childhood and domestic violence, child verbal abuse, or physical abuse when we review records of criminals. One sterling example would be that of Charles Manson, who was the mastermind in the 1969 Hollywood murders of Sharon Tate and several high-profile people in the entertainment industry, including an heiress to a coffee fortune. Other criminals who had been violent or were exposed to violence in their childhood include Richard Ramirez (The Night Stalker), Henry Lee Lucas, and John Wayne Gacy.

Although domestic violence is present worldwide, not all mental health professionals are aware of its extent in their area. Therefore, surveys must serve as indicators of a lack of information on the topic, and also a possible means of identifying victims.

The Price the Victims Pay

Little is known regarding the mental health and well-being effect on victims or their children, despite the fact that nearly one-third of women globally report experiencing physical or sexual abuse by a partner at some point in their lives. Using Norway as an example, where perpetrators can be tracked through time to victims and their children, an analysis of domestic violence (DV) was completed.

According to this research, significant changes occur in the home setting following a domestic violence incident that involves the police. These changes include the breakdown of marriages and a consequent decrease in financial resources. Children also required more medical attention and had a decrease in school performance.

According to the results of a poll conducted by The Royal College of Psychiatrists, psychiatrists in the United Kingdom attribute a significant portion of the mental health problems experienced by women and girls to experiences with violence and abuse. Among the factors that participants listed as contributing to poor mental health in women, 59% named violence and abuse; this is higher than the percentages that listed concerns about money, loneliness, hormonal health, and work/exam demands. And domestic violence does not only affect mental health in children; it can also lead to debilitating physical illnesses.

The top ten leading causes of mortality, which include cancer, diabetes, and heart disease, are all significantly more common among children whose parents experienced domestic abuse. Patients with a history of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), such as chronic disabling vomiting, are more prone to disability, chronic pain, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), frequent migraines, and fibromyalgia, and are more likely to need surgery.

How could anyone, in good conscience, promote a woman remaining in a situation of chronic domestic violence when it has such debilitating effects on the children and the women? There is no research evidence that suggests that remaining in this situation of violence contributes positively in any way to the child's health, development, or future relationships, nor is there evidence to say it promotes any positive qualities in the woman's life. What it does is present major impediments to a healthy mental health life, and also major medical disorders related to this early trauma.

It is the ethical duty of healthcare professionals to report abuse of children, mentally impaired individuals, disabled individuals, or the elderly, and to be knowledgeable about indicators to assess situations accurately. In many states, licensed professionals must take continuing education courses on reporting domestic violence and child abuse, and can be held responsible, legally, should they fail to report as required.