We have come to Memorial Day weekend, the unofficial yet widely recognized start of summer. Unlike last year, when we didn't really have a summer. But as more and more people get vaccinated, we are slowly returning to semi-normalcy. I think that it's safe to recognize summer's beginning by wearing our white shoes and belts again. 

    I am fully vaccinated but now I wish I would have waited a little longer. When I got the vaccine, that's all I got was the vaccine. Now, incentive programs are popping up all over offering benefits for getting your shots. Ohio and New York have million dollar lotteries for vaccinated persons, in Las Vegas you can get your shots at a strip club, and Chicago is offering free tickets to Great America amusement park. All I got was the assurance that I probably won't get sick and die. But if I would choose an incentive today, I'd be happy with a free beer. And they could advertise in bars all over town, "Free Shot And Beer Today." They'd have people standing in lines again.

    Now, here are some shots at the odder folks in this week's news.

WOOF OR MOO?

    An old conspiracy theory has resurfaced this week by Disney fans who claim that Goofy is not a dog but is actually is cow. They claim that if Goofy and Pluto are both dogs, why can't Pluto talk, walk upright, or wear pants? Therefore Goofy must be a cow. That's so stupid that it makes an act of Congress look like a good idea.

    Goofy is a cartoon. He's not real, and if he considers himself a dog, he's a dog. 

He is not a cow because Goofy is male, does not have an udder, and does not chew his cud. He could be a horse maybe, or even a humpless camel but not a cow.

    It's also possible that Goofy used to be a cow but had species reassignment surgery to become a dog., because he's a CARTOON!

NORTH KOREAN STYLE

    Kim Jong Un, always on the cutting edge of fashion, decided to ban several things he depicts as mimicking exotic and decadent western fashions. The first on his list is skinny jeans, probably because Kim cannot squeeze his corpulence into a pair. 

    Also banned are nose rings, ripped jeans, and slogan t-shirts because they represent a capitalist society. And as a man who knows his way around lousy haircuts, he has also banned mullets. To this I say "good for him." Mullets should be banned everywhere because they look stupid on anybody that's wearing one. The new chant in N. Korea is "Hey, hey, ho ho, mullet haircuts have to go."

DATELINE FLORIDA, 'NUFF SAID

    Friday Funnies follower Steve Williams made us aware of this story from, where else, Florida. Tyler Worden was arrested for battery when he hit his 20-year-old daughter in the face…with a slice of pizza. After a brief argument, Tyler hurled a slice at his daughter and she called the police. When they arrived, they found the woman with her face covered with pizza sauce and toppings. It was not mentioned what sort of toppings were found but catching a pepperoni in the eye is very dangerous.

    He is out of jail on a $500 bond and has been ordered by the court to have no contact with his daughter or pizza. He was also placed on Domino's "do not deliver" list.