Mental Toughness: Changing Beliefs and Emotions

Here is a method that will develop mental toughness that will help you become more objective and reclaim your power. Dr. Albert Ellis introduced a program called Rational Emotive Therapy and one of his disciples Dr. Maxie Maultsby referred to it as Rational Behavioral Therapy.  It is a cognitive therapy that challenges irrational beliefs to change how you think and feel. It will free you from emotional bondage and help you recover from any lost self-esteem due to bullying. 

Referred to as the ABC's of rational living, the A stands for the Activating Event such as someone being verbally abusive or harassing you. The B is your Belief about the event and the C is the Emotional Consequence that you experience.  

For example, if a bully yelled out, "You're a loser," that Activating Event could leave you feeling excluded, depressed, incompetent, angry, and hurt if your Beliefs about that insult were not challenged.  By putting a rational perspective on that ridiculous comment, you no longer feel the emotional pain of a comment that is a lie and totally outrageous. Without the cognitive confrontation, our first reaction is usually emotional and without reason or truth. Although you may not be able to control the environment and actions of others, you do choose how you might respond to outside events which is your ticket to emotional emancipation.

Rewriting your script is another suggestion that may help you. When we repeatedly have been told that we are fat, ugly or a loser and we buy in, unintentionally we write self-sabotaging scripts that control us and override our conscious desires and wants.

You thus must rewrite your script, and read it daily with conviction. You might also record it and listen to it as often as possible. Make it a written commitment.  Share it with friends and ask them to help hold you accountable to your promise.

There are many energy healing methods that can help you heal as well.  One is referred to as EFT, or Emotional .Freedom Technique which had helped Courtney Ragonesi.  You may want to do some research on some of the methods referred to as Tapping. All of the body-mind and mind-body methods that help release the negative experience and emotions associated with it will be helpful. As a hypnotherapist, I have found hypnosis to be very helpful as well as role playing or psychodrama. What you must not do is harbor the hurt or negative emotions in your heart. It keeps you captive and continues to give the bully power over you years after the events. Courtney's anxiety attack caused from writing about her experiences is an indication that after therapy and being helped, the pain of the past still has a tight grip.   Although easier said than done, you must release it and let it go. Holding on is not an option.

Edie Raether, The Bully Buster, is an international keynote speaker and an authority and bestselling author of seven books, including Stop Bullying Now. Visit Edie at www.stopbullyingwithedie.com or call (704)658-8997.