As seniors, we must keep our minds active, alert, and engaged. Stagnation is not the goal. I engage every chance I get in something that keeps my mind moving and, in turn, keeps me relevant.

I discuss all kinds of things with all sorts of people. I do not limit myself to those who speak on a one-track level, but when I engage with them, I usually attempt to steer our conversation into a safer and more productive path. While doing my four-hour, once-per-week Coffee Talk assignment, I run into these situations once in a while. Let me explain Coffee Talk and its origin. 

 Friends and Company, a St Paul, MN organization dedicated to creating positive connections between seniors who might be isolated and lonely, are the brilliant minds behind Coffee Talk. Seniors are connected to the outside world through home visits, daily phone calls, and even one-to-one phone companions who speak regularly to someone who agrees to do this off-schedule. More about that in a moment! Within our Coffee Talk training, we are taught the way to end a call nicely when our time limit (20 to 30 minutes) is done and to filter out calls that are insulting or politically or religiously fueled.

One of my Coffee Talk clients tried to engage me in a conversation about automobiles manufactured in the United States versus those made in foreign countries. I could tell there was much venom in his voice, and he was ready for a “phone debate,” but I assured him I was unaware of those differences since they do not apply directly to me. There was a long silence, then I filled it with lighter talk about a subject I cannot for the life of me remember, but I could feel the bristle leave his voice, and before our thirty minutes was up, I had him laughing, and I was laughing, and he called me “wise” and said he likes to talk to me. He could not see it, but I was smiling big. Mission accomplished!

I have now taken on a single volunteer job as a phone companion, which means I will speak for longer lengths to one person on a day we decide. I have been matched with a recent widow who requested me, and I complied.

Here is the letter I received from one of our coordinators :

I just left you a voicemail. It looks like you talked to my colleague Danielle a couple of weeks ago, but it doesn’t look like the details about Karen were ever sent to you. I’m pasting them below:

Elder Name: Karen

City: Ramsey

Fact/Interest to Facilitate Conversation: Karen is really sweet and easy to talk to. She has some health issues, and her husband recently passed. Karen is really a sweetheart. She is quite chatty. She lives with her son, who is very busy and not home a lot. She has a very welcoming, engaging personality. She seems very joyful in spite of her trials.

Please confirm that you got this email. Karen is so excited to have you as a Phone Companion and to start talking to you regularly!

We appreciate you, Zenobia, for making such a difference in the lives of all the people you talk with!