As a dating and relationship coach, internet dating strategy and online dating safety tips are common topics of conversation with my clients.

It’s normal (and wise!) to be cautious when you are putting yourself out there to literal strangers. Not everyone has the same intentions as you, and you can meet unsafe people anywhere! I once had a guy stalk me after meeting me at a happy hour! Even those with good intentions, looking for love in the same space as you, may not be looking for the same thing as you.

So whether you are dating online or dating through traditional methods, there are some basic first/early date safety tips that you should know by now. But here’s a quick refresher in case it’s been a while

• Meet in a public place and arrange your own transportation. And stay in public spaces even if the date seems to be going well. 
• Always let someone know where you are going and who you are with. All smartphones these days allow you to share your location- use it!
• Never share personal identifying information early on. Avoid giving out your home address, work address, or financial info until you’ve established trust.
• Trust your gut. Intuition is a safety tool- if something feels off, either with their profile, message, or behavior, listen to that feeling.
• Listen for inconsistencies in their stories. Pay attention to timelines, job titles, travel details, or any personal history that doesn’t add up.
• Don’t send intimate images. Even if trust has been built, sharing explicit images is risky. In this digital age, once an image is out there, you can’t get it back. 
• Take your time – real connections grow slowly. The rush of attraction is tempting, but a serious connection will still be there tomorrow.
• Walk away from pressure. Don’t let your desire to be accepted and loved allow you to compromise anything on this list! Genuine love doesn’t coerce or use guilt to get its own way. Anyone who insists that you don’t adhere to one of these safety protocols clearly doesn’t care about your actual safety.
  

Regardless of how you have met your date, those dating safety tips are usually well understood. So why does online dating feel riskier to some?

We all know people who hide behind their computers. Whether they’re arguing online- saying things they’d never say in person, or creating an idealized profile on social media that doesn’t match up with their real lives, the internet provides people with opportunities for subtle deception.  So we are already primed to be skeptical.

And with the rise of AI-generated content, it’s becoming harder to know what is real and what isn’t online.  

But online dating is still the most effective way to meet like-minded, quality people when looking for lasting love, so don’t give up yet.

Here are some additional online dating safety tips to make sure you are more safely dating online!

1. Online dating safety begins BEFORE you ever post your first profile!

   • I always advise my clients that having a dating plan is an important step to dating safely. Know yourself, your values, your must-haves and deal-breakers, and the kind of person you are looking for. 
   • Then, create a strong, honest profile to attract the right kind of person. Being politely upfront about what you are looking for and your relationship goals will help filter out incompatible or predatory matches.
   • Choose dating apps or sites that have built-in safety features like video calls, ID verification, panic buttons, or background checks.

2. Stay in the App.

   • Don’t give out your phone number or contact info early on. Scammers often try to move conversations off-platform quickly. All good dating apps have in-app communication tools. If for some reason yours does not, you can get a free Google number for calls and messaging and use Zoom for video chatting. 
   • If for some reason yours does not, you can get a free Google number for calls and messaging and use Zoom for video chatting. 

3. Verify, Verify, Verify!

   • Use internet searches and/or background checks to make sure the person you are talking to is real and someone you really want to know. Check Facebook, LinkedIn, or other social media platforms. Use Google to search for their name and see what comes up. I’ve even had clients use a PI before going on a live date. 
   •  Use a reverse image search to check profile photos. Tools like Google Image Search or TinEye can help detect if someone is using a fake or stolen photo. AI-generated images have subtle anomalies like a distorted background, mismatched earrings, odd lighting, etc. Watch for these things.
   • Never meet up with someone without having a live video “date” first. The order should go messaging, phone call(s), video chat, THEN an in-person date. And don’t accept a one-sided video message from your potential date. AI deep-fake videos are easily created now. A real potential love interest should be available to show up online and communicate spontaneously.

4. Watch for love bombing, fast declarations of love, or desperate pleas.

   • Love-bombing is a tactic that Scammers and manipulators use to overwhelm you with affection and quickly gain your trust and dependency. 
   • Likewise, once you’ve begun to build a rapport, some scammers may have a sudden emergency or problem that requires your eventual financial assistance. RUN!

Online dating isn’t really any more dangerous than a blind date or going out with someone you met out on the town.

Both online and offline dating require you to trust your gut, observe behavior over time, and prioritize your emotional and physical safety. Online dating just gets a bad rap because it feels more uncertain. But it also gives you tools (like messaging, video chat, and profile info) to screen people more carefully before meeting.  

In many ways, online dating can actually be safer. If you make a plan, take your time, trust your gut, and use the tools, you’ll find many of the safety concerns solve themselves!

And don’t forget that dating and relationship coaches like me can help. I’ve got tons of other online dating tips and ideas to help you strategize and stay safe out there. Reach out today, and let’s chat!

Online Dating Safety is important when looking for lasting love, but how do you know if you’re even ready for it when you find it? Take my FREE “Are You Ready to Meet Your Mate” Quiz to learn more! Go to https://motivatedtomarry.lpages.co/take-the-mtm-quiz/ today!