Power of attorney for an elderly parent is a fiduciary responsibility to avoid conflicts of interest and manage family caregiver expectations. ?Power of attorney responsibilities for an elderly parent can be overwhelming if the agent lacks healthcare or financial experience. Many adult children accept the role of POA for elderly parents and find themselves in power struggles with siblings who may be the day-to-day caregivers.
Being a Caregiver versus a Power of Attorney
Caregivers perform day-to-day tasks that can be time-consuming and stressful. Unlike being a power of attorney for an elderly parent, these responsibilities are rarely documented on paper and notarized.
While many caregivers have a duty and a sense of responsibility to care for aging parents, they can change their level of responsibility and decide to quit at any time. Family caregivers can also become over-involved and want to control every detail of an aging parent’s care.
Caregivers learn by doing and are not expected to have specialized skills. In most cases, the person needing care—mom or dad—tells the family caregiver what help is needed. The adult child fills requests to pick up prescriptions, shop for groceries, take clothes to the cleaners, take the dog to the vet, and so on.
So, for example:
- An adult child taking mom or dad to a doctor’s appointment isn’t expected to know a parent’s medical diagnosis, what medications they take, or to ask questions about a doctor’s recommendations.
- A child driving a parent to the bank isn’t expected to know the amount a parent has in the bank or have input on whether mom or dad is making sound financial decisions.
Adult children who are caregivers can take on a high level of responsibility. When another child in the family is the agent under medical or financial power of attorney, power struggles regarding decision-making can occur.
If you are a family caregiver or an adult child named as a power of attorney, understanding the differences can help support positive sibling relationships. Clearly outlined responsibilities and family discussions can avoid family conflicts playing out in court about power of attorney abuse or neglect.
Fiduciary Responsibility of Being a Power of Attorney for an Elderly Parent
The financial or medical power of attorney for an elderly parent has a higher level of fiduciary responsibility versus a sibling who may be in the role of a caregiver.
Fiduciary responsibility is an obligation to act in another person’s best interests rather than for one’s own benefit. Fiduciaries have two responsibilities:
1 Duty of care, which means the fiduciary, in this case, a power of attorney for an elderly parent, takes the time to research and evaluate information to make wise decisions
2 Duty of loyalty, which means a power of attorney for an elderly parent works in the parent’s best interest and does not do things that benefit the power of attorney
- An example of duty of care specific to a healthcare power of attorney means knowing a parent’s health diagnosis, why they take medications, and their past medical history so that all medical decisions, large or small, can be evaluated before being made.
- An example of duty of loyalty means that even though it might be more time efficient, a power of attorney for
an elderly parent does not move a parent into their home or move into a parent’s home and receive a financial benefit of any type.
For more on this topic listen to The Caring Generation Podcast episode 202, Aging Parents and Adult Children,
How To Deal With Health, Legal and Money Conflicts. Informed Consent and Decision Making: Caregivers vs POA for Elderly Parents
A power of attorney for an elderly parent should make decisions through informed consent. This means that the POA for elderly parents consults with mom or dad on all decisions.
The power of attorney should fully understand the wishes of an aging parent. This means doing everything possible to understand why a parent favors a particular option.
In contrast, family caregivers do not have this same level of responsibility. This is why adult children say elderly parents are stubborn or refuse care.
Caregivers have no legal obligation to make the time or effort to understand why a parent feels a certain way. This lack of communication often results in family disagreements and conflict.
The role of a power of attorney for an elderly parent requires advanced skills in empathy, communication, problem-solving, and conflict management. A power of attorney does not advocate for the power of attorney’s wishes but seeks to understand and implement the wishes of an elderly parent.
It is vital that if a caregiver is the power of attorney agent, all attempts are made to avoid a conflict of interest.
Conflict of Interest
A conflict of interest can arise for a caregiver who is also an agent under a power of attorney when emotions or personal interests take priority over the wishes and needs of an elderly parent.
Power of attorney abuse and legal battles often result when family conflict, friendships, financial needs, or poor medical decisions compromise a power of attorney’s decisions or judgments.
Examples of this might be a caregiver in the role of power of attorney paying a friend to provide care for an elderly parent or a caregiver in the role of power of attorney taking a personal loan from an elderly parent.
There are many situations where a power of attorney for an elderly parent believes they are making sound decisions. As time passes, these decisions result in financial or medical harm to an aging parent. As a result, siblings or other family members may seek legal action to remove the power of attorney.
Examples of Informed Consent
Informed consent means that a parent agree to make a well-informed decision after gathering and evaluating facts with the assistance of the power of attorney.
In evaluating medical or financial decisions, this might include:
- Having a clear understanding of options, expected outcomes, and the pros and cons of alternatives
- Determining whether a health condition requires treatment, understanding the effects of the treatment, and what the next steps should be
- Obtaining second medical or professional opinions when necessary
- Requesting information from family or other professionals
- Documenting information relevant to decisions to support standards of good decision-making and transparency
In the case of elderly parents diagnosed with dementia or other cognitive problems, a power of attorney might use the principles of substituted judgment or best interest.
Family Disagreements About Power of Attorney for An Elderly Parent
The formal levels of responsibility for a family caregiver and a family member who may be the power of attorney for an elderly parent are different. As mentioned, all appearances of conflict of interest must be avoided.
Avoiding conflict of interest can be challenging for adult children who lack experience managing medical or financial needs or cannot predict the long-term effects of today’s actions.
The differences between being a caregiver versus a power of attorney often result in disagreements between family caregivers who are emotionally involved in a parent’s care. There are times when difficult choices must be made by the power of attorney for an elderly parent.
If you are a family caregiver or a power of attorney for an elderly parent seeking advice about care decisions, power of attorney responsibilities, or other information, learn more about
Pamela D Wilson’s power of attorney advisory and protector services.
Looking for more information about caregiving, health, caring for aging parents, or power of attorney? Visit
Pamela’s YouTube Channel and search by these keywords.
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