According to Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., author of "The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work," when it comes to communication, men and women send very different signals.

* To a woman, good listening skills include making eye contact and reacting visually to the speaker. To a man, listening can take place with a minimum of eye contact and almost no nonverbal feedback.

* Men are more comfortable when approached from the side. Women prefer approaches from the front. Likewise, two men speaking will angle their bodies slightly, while two women will stand in a more "squared up" position - a stance that most men perceive as confrontational.

* Female superiority in reading nonverbal signals allows women to accurately assess relationships in a group - while men are still looking around for the bar.

* Men are judged to be better at monologue - women at dialogue.

o When a woman can't read the person she's talking to, it makes her anxious. Men's ability to mask their facial expressions causes uneasiness in women, who often perceive this as negative feedback.

o Men are larger, taller and, because we typically equate mass with power, they gain an instant sense of "presence" Females can compensate by standing straight, broadening their stance, and even putting their hands on their hips in order to take up more physical space.

o Women sound more emotional because they use approximately five tones when speaking - and their voices rise under stress. Not only do men have a deeper vocal range, they only use approximately three tones.

o Male body language is more likely to emphasize stature, composure, and confidence. Men also send signals of indifference, disagreement or smugness far more often than women do.

o As women make decisions, they tend to process and think of options out loud. Men process internally until they come up with a solution. This can lead to problems if a male thinks that the female's verbal brainstorming means that she's looking for approval rather than just thinking aloud.

o Men's discomfort dealing with emotion leads them to believe that there needs to be a solution, rather than understanding that sometimes people just need to be heard.

o Because they access the full message (words and body language), women are better at watching and listening for reactions. This allows them to ensure that they are being understood, and adjust accordingly.

o Men make direct accusations (You didn't do it!) while women use an indirect method (Why didn't you do it?)

o Men who don't know each other well tend to keep a greater distance between them than women who have just met.

o Women are viewed as lacking authority when they try to avoid confrontation and conflict, when they are unnecessarily apologetic, when they are too focused on pleasing others, when they smile excessively or inappropriately, and when they discount their own ideas and achievements.

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is an international keynote speaker, executive coach, and management consultant. She is the author of THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE - Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. Contact her by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her web sites: www.NonverbalAdvantage.com.