Some Significant Things Life Has Taught Me

                                                               By Marilyn L. Redmond

I. have learned there are no mistakes in life. It was all planned before I came for my spiritual growth. This was a surprise to me that I wrote a script that included my parents, friends and situations I needed in this lifetime for my spiritual growth. Since I asked the people to play those parts, I could no longer blame them for my problems in life. Their lives were difficult to play those parts for me

These lessons are carefully determined with the help of my guides in spirit for my return for another opportunity to align with the universe and resolve them in responding with loving solutions. Some people call this karma. It is necessary to release the negativity of my past actions to bring balance into my life. The predicaments were mainly from prior times that needed to be resolved so I could move forward into a higher consciousness. The past could no longer keep me stuck in the old problems. Only with resolving them can I grow beyond them. Learning to accept that reality and no longer be in denial is the lesson. This allows me to move out of what felt like hell. I was ready to move up into grace and change my ways and heart to bring peace into my life.

2. The challenges in life are to be met with loving solutions. I realized that reacting from fear and resistance to life challenges kept me in a state of being childish. Responding in loving ways is adulthood. It can be called taking the high road. This keeps me in reality and promotes my maturity. I had to find kind ways to resolve the issues to move beyond and out of my old mind set. In finding caring responses to the predicaments, I felt the old distressing feelings dissolve. It was in not resolving the situations in an appropriate way that kept me in and anguish. I had to allow life to happen and learn from the experiences.

3. Live in the moment that is why it is called The Present. As I did not know I was not in reality, but reliving the past repeatedly, I found my history was repeating itself. Some call doing the same thing repeatedly expecting different results insanity. I did not know from my growing up you could change your thinking to work for you. By my mental frame of mind still reacting to past situations or worries about the future, I was not living in reality. Reality is right now not the past or the future. When I am in the "Now" which is listening to my instincts, then I am in reality.

4. For me learning to be open-minded and opening my heart is a challenge. Since I did not grow up in a functioning family, I did not have an open heart or an open mind. Keeping me safe was closing my heart down and not opening it as it would be hurt again. The opening of my heart to feel the good/God within has been a long process. It was extremely closed keeping me in survival. The many walls around my heart kept me out of goodness, reality, and enjoying life. Finally, my feelings are flowing more and I have experienced joy, finally. My old thinking was that if the people around me were happy, I could be too. This is a form of co-dependency. Since they were depressed, they did not allow me to be happy. I found a quote by Abraham Lincoln that said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." this gave me permission to be happy even if people around mw were not. I did not have to carry their unhappiness. When I love myself, I can allow others to have their feelings whatever they may be and that will not affect me. I am happy just being me.   

6. Nothing outside myself can save me or give me peace. It is an inside job. My parents were mentally ill and never mature themselves to love themselves. Finally, I discovered life is an inside job. I had to save myself. In changing my fear into love and opening my heart, I found I did not need to be saved, I was born in the love of my Creator and always was loved.. This brought a completely new inner security. I was looking for love in all the wrong places.  The feelings of abandonment left.

7. Safety is the complete relinquishment of attack. This was a difficult lesson for me as being raised in domestic violence and having a marriage of domestic violence. I never felt safe. I always was defending myself trying to stay safe. After years of growing into reality, I realized that my being emotionally defensive felt like an attack on my husband on a subconscious level and he retaliated in a physical attack on me. It was a passive aggressive interaction. My unconscious defensiveness felt like an attack to him; it was not visible. He retaliated in a visible response. I had to move into feeling safe and pray for him. "Father forgive him for he knows not what he does" We were both two little neglected and abused kids trying to make it in an adult world without any clue how to do it. Sending love stopped the game.

8. To heal is to be happy. Learning I could make me happy, I began to grow up and not act or react from my old insecurity, abuse, or fear. Free from my past trauma, being in the present, and being aware of what presently was transpiring made me available to feel happy. I had to release all my history to feel cheerful. The stress had stopped my feeling happy. The more I relaxed, the easier it became to experience those joyful feelings that I always wanted.

9. Love waits on welcome, not on time. Learning to pray and be thankful for the good events, feelings, and my needs being met, allowed me to feel the love and goodness that is my inheritance. I did not know in the past, that I could invite God into my life and He was waiting for me to request his love to open in my heart. Knowing to be honest, open-minded, and willing to open my heart to feel the love was a new idea. He never left me; I just had not invited him in with gratitude and being thankful for all my blessings.

10. All forgiveness is a gift to yourself. I did not know the word forgiveness. That I could forgive others was a new idea to me. The past can leave and not be a trigger for unhappy feelings, guilt, shame, or fear. I did not have to walk in that stupor anymore. I could allow it to leave for the light of God to replace the darkness. Then I still had to forgive myself. That I wrote such a difficult script for my spiritual growth was a difficult pill to swallow and accept. I have to accept each of the situations as my experience into maturity. I pray I am sorry, I forgive you, I thank you, and I love you, for those in my life and for myself.                                                                                

I asked those people to play the part necessary for me to mature past the childlike past. They agreed to do it. They played their parts for me to find forgiveness, gratitude, and compassion for them that were helping me to grow up. When a person gives up their life for another that is love. Those people loved me; I thought they had harmed me. Just as Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. The steps to move into a new life are explained in detail in my book, "Paradigm Busters" at Amazon.              https://www.amazon.com/dp/1530940117#customerReviews