Many managers wrestle with how to give feedback to their employees, and as a result they aren’t successful in conveying what they really want to say. Consequently, delivering feedback can be one of the more stressful parts of their job as manager.

At one end of the spectrum are managers who are so brutally blunt that the sting of their harsh words is more powerful than the underlying message. At the other end are managers who couch their feedback in overly positive and flowery comments so that their employees completely miss the message.

You want to land somewhere in the middle: deliver your message clearly and effectively without drawing emotions to the surface.

Giving feedback takes practice. Here are some tips to improve your skills, particularly when feedback is sensitive.

Be clear about your ultimate message. Is the person missing deadlines? Ignoring important details? Annoying co-workers? Go to the heart of the issue first, and then figure out how to say it.

Rehearse. Write down the main points to support your message. Practice saying these points with the goal of expressing yourself naturally and confidently. You might find that you’re way too wordy the first few times, for example, so experiment until you find the right words.

Use examples. People connect with stories, anecdotes or examples. Craft an example that illustrates your point and use it to augment the point itself.

Listen “between the lines”. Give your employee the opportunity to comment, and proactively listen. Even if you disagree with what they say, a feedback session goes better when the person feels heard.

The underpinning of these tips is to gather, organize, and craft your thoughts first, rather than spewing reactive comments. When you approach it this way, you’ll feel calmer and more confident – and a lot less stressed.

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”
– Amelia Earhart

Header image by Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels.com.