Tuesday, February 7, 2012

First dates are always nerve wracking. Just to keep the conversation going, you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind. That's fine, if you're talking about the weather in Cincinnati, but not if you happen to mention your ex-boyfriend's pet peeves.

Bringing up an ex on date number one usually means, there will be no date number two. So, in order to prevent any verbal diarrhea from occurring, edit yourself before you speak! It's not that hard. Sure, it means you will take a few moments to reflect before uttering a word...but that's a good thing.

Most people think you have to talk non-stop on a date so that the person on the other side of the table thinks you are a witty conversationalist...wrong. It couldn't be more wrong. Instead of yakking away, you need to listen..listen hard. In fact, take mental notes. The number one question I get is, "How can I impress him/her?" That is not the goal of the evening. No, you want to make sure he/she is right for you, not the other way around. If you are so busy putting on this front, trying to impress, when he gets to know the real you, it will be too late!

So, forget about impressing, complimenting, coming up with witty remarks. Ask questions. Sure, you don't want to seem like you are interrogating the poor guy, but you are on this date for a reason. To get to know him and find out if the two of you have a future together.

Whether the evening goes well or not...it doesn't matter. Just make it your goal to a. get to know your date and find out who he really is, and b. have fun! This isn't a job interview. Enjoy the dinner or the movie, and wait until you get home to figure out whether you want to get ready for a date number two.

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Etiquette expert and life coach, Marie Dubuque is the author of six books including "First Date Etiquette" and "Witty Comebacks for Idiotic Insults." She also hosts a popular Youtube channel: www.youtube.com/mannersbymarie