In case you haven't noticed, the world is going crazy and I think I'm going with it. There are so many weird things happening right now that it's hard to keep up with them. Let's start with the weather. Heat waves, tornados, and hurricanes seem to be happening with greater frequency. Add to that the current cicada storms in the east and the reappearance of murder hornets in the northwest and you have the makings for a Steven King novel.

    Want to buy a house? Be prepared to shell out a couple of bitcoins over the asking price. That's because most houses are made of wood, which has reached record prices. I bought a popsicle the other day and got five cents back when I returned the stick. 

    And then there are things that have appeared in our lives that we really don't need. Kale tops the list. We didn't have kale when we were kids and we turned out pretty good. Hard seltzer. Call it what it is, bubbly alcohol with no taste. If you want to drink, drink a real drink, like beer, or wine, or Zima (dated reference but funny if you get it.)

    The only thing you can depend on these days is the Friday Funnies, so, here they are.

S.O.S

    In Hachinohe, a city on the northeast coast of Japan, an SOS was issued to save a naked drowning woman. She was bobbing in the water and not moving, so rescue divers were dispatched and soon discovered that in this instance SOS stood for Save Our Sex doll. The "woman" in peril was a life-size inflatable sex doll. How she wound up in the water is still a mystery but I'm guessing that since she was floating like an air mattress, somebody probably fell off.

PILFERED POOP

    Two stories from India this week have to do with cow poop. In Dhurena, over 800 kg (1,700 pounds) of cow dung was stolen from the village. They had been collecting poop to use in a compost project but now they are poop out of luck.

    Meanwhile, at DFW airport in Dallas, cow dung cakes were found in unclaimed luggage arriving from India. Cow dung from India is banned in the U.S. because it could contain hoof and mouth disease so the cakes were confiscated and sold as Moon Pies.

HOW DO I LOOK?

    With the plethora of Zoom meetings filling our schedules, people are more concerned about how they look. Since the other people on the meeting can see you, you want to look good. But are they really looking at you? A woman named Jackie wanted to find out, so for 264 consecutive Zoom meetings in the last year, Jackie wore the same Hawaiian shirt, and guess what? Nobody noticed. Jackie said she wore the shirt as a joke but nobody got it, proving once again that comedy isn't as easy as it looks.

    So don't worry about how you look for your next cyber meeting because nobody's looking…unless you stand up and you aren't wearing pants, then everybody looks.