Tips for Transforming Self-rejection into Self-acceptance
- Ask yourself, "Am I taking this personally and feeling rejected in some way?"
- Ask yourself, "Am I setting myself up for disappointment by trying to read someone's mind or expecting them to read mine?"
- Remind yourself that disappointment often feels like rejection.
- Separate the 'Then' from the 'Now.' Certain childhood messages and beliefs may no longer carry their earlier power.
- Walk alongside yourself, noticing and naming. Observing gets the flow going opens up space for options.
- Keep reminding yourself that you do have choices.
- Don't presume or f'ill in the blanks' — check things out.
- Check in with yourself about your personal boundaries.
- Remind yourself there is a difference between needs and neediness.
- Ask yourself what you want or need each day and from whom.
- Practice asking directly for what you need.
- Ask about the other person's needs.
- Remember that allowing vulnerability is a strength. It's very different from feeling vulnerable.
- Remind yourself if you're uncomfortable in a situation you can take a time-out.
- Practice making eye contact and saying "thank you" to compliments.
This 'reminder' helps me out when negativity creeps in: "Try self-respect instead of self-reject."TM