Watching a parent grow older can stir a mix of emotions—love, concern, and sometimes fear. You may notice small changes at first, like a forgotten appointment or a cluttered home, but over time, these signs can add up to bigger questions about their ability to remain independent.
For many adult children, these moments mark the beginning of a difficult journey filled with uncertainty and tough decisions. Matt McCann, a leading expert on long-term care planning, has seen it often in the decades he has been helping clients nationwide.
McCann says it's natural to feel conflicted about stepping in. After all, your parents have always taken care of you. But recognizing when help is needed—and knowing how to provide it—can make all the difference in preserving their safety, dignity, and quality of life.
Signs That Help May Be Needed
McCann suggests looking for red flags that signal potential issues. Physical signs may include unexplained weight loss, poor hygiene or noticeable bruises. Cognitive changes, such as memory lapses, confusion or difficulty completing everyday tasks, can also indicate a problem.
Emotional or behavioral shifts, such as withdrawal from social activities or sudden mood swings, may point to underlying health or mental health concerns. Additionally, missed appointments, unpaid bills and cluttered or unsafe living conditions can suggest difficulty managing household responsibilities.
Steps to Take if You Have Concerns
- Start the Conversation Early: Approach the topic with compassion and respect. Express your concerns without judgment, and focus on your parent's well-being.
- Assess Needs and Risks: Evaluate your parent's ability to perform activities of daily living, such as cooking, cleaning and managing medications. Consider consulting a geriatric care manager or social worker for a professional assessment.
- Check for Long-Term Care Insurance: Determine whether your parent has an LTC Insurance policy, which can help cover costs for home care, assisted living or nursing home care. McCann says that, often, adult children were unaware that their parents had bought an LTC policy. Locate the policy and review coverage details to understand available benefits.
- Explore Community Resources: Contact local agencies on aging for information on services such as meal delivery, transportation and home health aides.
- Consult Healthcare Providers: Schedule a comprehensive medical evaluation to address potential physical or cognitive health issues. Encourage your parent to keep their physician informed about any recent changes.
- Find Quality Caregivers or Facilities: If your loved one needs care, research care options and associated costs. Tools like the LTC News Cost of Care Calculator can help estimate expenses based on location and care type. The LTC News Caregiver Directory has the largest database of caregivers, home health agencies, adult day care centers, senior communities, assisted living, memory care, and nursing homes in the United States, and it is easy to use.
Addressing Resistance to Help
Many older adults resist assistance, fearing a loss of independence. Listen to their concerns and involve them in decision-making as much as possible. Focus on solutions that preserve autonomy while ensuring safety.
If your loved one has an LTC policy, be sure they use the benefits from their policy without delay, even if it is to give family caregivers a break. LTC NEWS offers free help processing claims from any Long-Term Care Insurance policy.
Partnering with Amada Senior Care, a renowned in-home healthcare agency, LTC NEWS ensures that you and your loved ones have the funds from their LTC policy to receive quality care. There is no cost or obligation for this service - Filing a Long-Term Care Insurance Claim.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Establishing powers of attorney for healthcare and finances can simplify decision-making in emergencies. Reviewing wills, trusts and beneficiary designations also helps protect your parent's assets.
Final Thoughts
Watching a parent age can be emotional and challenging, but taking proactive steps can ease the transition. By staying attentive, involving professionals and utilizing available resources, you can help your loved one maintain independence and dignity for as long as possible.
However, the time to start thinking about your aging and future need for care should start now, when you are younger and healthier. You can learn about long-term care planning before speaking with a specialist like McCann.
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Media Availability
McCann is available for radio, TV, and podcast interviews. He also speaks to groups and organizations worldwide on the issues of aging, caregiving, health, and long-term care. Contact McCann through his website for information.