Women?s Heritage Month

Victory Secrets from Successful Women

Remember when women weren?t allowed to vote? Of course, you don?t, neither does your mother. But 100 years ago, Susan B. Anthony was one woman who was fighting for that right . . . and won.

Throughout the 20th century, Anthony and so many other women opened doors for us, both in and out of the workplace. During Women?s Heritage Month, it?s good to look backward and forward: backward on the accomplishments of those who came before us and forward to understand how their model can help us in our workplace and our lives.

It was less than 50 years ago, in 1964, when Milton Bradley sold a game called ?Pillow Fight.? It was designed to provide young girls with an acceptable, ladylike way for them to vent their spirited energy. Why? Because, you know, it wasn?t acceptable for respectable women to be aggressive or dominant in polite society.

All over the world, women were bombarded with messages that their value in life could only result from beauty, charm and their ability to cook a good meal. Volumes were written showing women how to advance themselves in those areas. Wealthier parents sent their daughters to finishing schools and colleges just so they could get their MRS degree. If a girl was smart, she learned to use her feminine wiles and cooking skills to snare an upwardly mobile man who would provide for them.

Yet, at the same time and with ironic contrast, truly savvy women were breaking through that arcane societal system -- such as Margaret Chase Smith, who became the first woman to serve in both houses of Congress and the first woman to have her name placed in nomination for the presidency in 1964. Twenty years later, Geraldine Ferraro was the first woman vice-presidential nominee. While Ferraro?s party lost the election, her candidacy paved the way for Hillary Clinton, the first women whose bid for the presidency was taken seriously.

Until 1972, gender discrimination in education was the norm. That?s when Congress passed the Title IX Education Amendment and, although it didn?t mention sports specifically, it became the vehicle through which schools funded athletics for young women, and they got involved. One of those women was Robin Roberts, basketball star, ESPN sportscaster and now co-anchor of the ABC News show, Good Morning America.

Also during the 1970s, tennis great Billie Jean King accepted the challenge by her male counterpart, Bobby Riggs, to a tennis match. King won the much publicized ?Battle of the Sexes.? It had a startling impact on society -- not only in America, but around the world -- mostly because it got everyone talking. Janet Guthrie got everyone talking, too. She stunned the sports world and made front-page news as the first women to compete in the Indianapolis 500 and the Daytona 500, the two top race car competitions, previously all male. She smoothed the way for other women racers, like Danica Patrick.

Every one of those women victoriously bucked a system that tried to hold them back. Obviously, there was no playing the Pillow Fight game for them. How did they do it?

Here are five characteristics they, and other victorious women, share. Which one would help you get smarter and better at work?

Live with Passion

Passion means caring so much about what you do and who you are that you are willing to do the tough stuff that it takes to be successful. Biographies describe how Susan B. Anthony?s passion for women?s equality gave her the courage to stand up to everything from ridicule to death threats. She advanced causes that promoted a woman?s right to vote, receive higher education, and have her own property and income ? all of which are so commonplace today that we take them for granted.

When you embrace your passion, you have inspiration, energy, commitment and guts. Passion keeps you going when you feel tired, or aren?t getting where you want to go fast enough and are tempted to quit and. It?s also your passion which, like Susan B. Anthony?s, has the power to change lives for generations ? globally, locally or simply in your family.

Take Charge of Your Career

Many women grew up believing that doing a good job is all you need to get noticed and get ahead. If that was really true, then GE, Wal-Mart, Toyota and other companies wouldn?t need to sell their products and services using advertising, endorsements or infomercials. You have to let people know who you are and what you want to do.

Jean Otte, founder Women Unlimited, the nationally acclaimed leadership program, says that the most common mistake women in business make is failing to promote themselves to the right people. She notices how upset women often get when a business opportunity arises and someone less qualified snatches it. According to Jean, you have to get noticed by the people who care. She wants women to understand that ?it?s not who you know, but who knows you know? that makes the difference.

Here are three ways to take control of your career:

• Approach your work with a plan and learn how to ask for what you want in clear and specific language, e.g., here are my goals and here?s how I?d like your help with them;
  
  
• Refine your networking so you create personal influence; and
  
  
• Enlist the help of a mentor who will give you feedback and show you how to promote yourself effectively and steer you away from self-sabotaging methods.

Be Persistent

What challenges test your goal-achieving resolve? Maybe, on the business side, it?s slow growth or a lost contract. Or, on the personal side, it might be childcare, sandwich caregiving, health issues and family responsibilities. Whether business or personal, you face challenges at every turn. Without persistence, any woman might too easily relinquish her own dreams.

It?s through persistence -? that dogged determination from within ?- that keeps your ambition from going underground. Here are three suggestions that help you stick with it and persevere through the tough times:

• Refuse to make excuses for failure. If life gets in the way and you have to go slower, do it, but don?t give up;
  
  
• Find a coach or mentor who can help you navigate around and through the difficulties;
  
  
• Understand that you are at your best ? and are the best role model for your children ? when you are doing the work that ignites your passion and satisfies your soul.

Ask for what you want

Most sales managers will tell you that the first mistake a new sales person makes is that they forget to ask for the order. They might do a great presentation but walk away empty-handed because they didn?t ask the potential customer to buy.

Not asking is a common mistake women make, but it?s one we don?t learn until adulthood. Think about it: how many times a day does your daughter or son ask you for something? They ask all the time, multiple times, and even change their approach but they don?t take "no" for an answer. That?s how most of them eventually get a "yes" for what they want.

What do you want? If it?s a referral, ask a satisfied client. What better entrée to a new client could you get than an endorsement from someone who is already happy with your product or service? If you want more help at home, ask each person to do one job. Explain how their help is part of the two-way ?caring? street between you and them and, in return for what you do for them, ask them to do a cleaning job or laundry, make dinner, etc. If you get a ?no? keep asking. It works for your kids, and it?ll work for you too!

To Thine Own Self Be True

As the first woman to head the National Institutes of Health, controversial cardiologist Bernadine Healy?s perspective encourages women to find out who they are and live according to their values. She pointedly insists, ?If your goal in life is to have everybody like you, you will never do anything. You will never stand up for anything, make any commitment, or figure out what you believe in because you will be afraid it will be offensive to everybody else. You want people to like you for the right reasons, not for some veneer you put on.?

Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues, echoes those same sentiments. ?You have to make a decision in your life. Do you want to be ?good? or do you want to have a life? ?Good? implies being approved of and towing the line. Living inside a box?.you never live your life. You live their life.?

So if you sometimes get frustrated that there still isn?t parity in the workplace, victory up! Take a few lessons from the women who came before us. Model their passion, persistence, asking, personal responsibility and self-worth.

Here?s a plan: Take one characteristic each month and really focus on how it can help you and how you can do it better. And then, as the old adage says, ?Practice. Practice. Practice.?

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© 2009 Annmarie Kelly. All rights reserved.

Annmarie Kelly shows women how to ?live out loud and in living color? by overcoming adversity, transforming challenges into opportunities, and becoming leaders at work and in their lives. She is the author of Victorious Woman! Shaping Life?s Challenges into Personal Victories, founder of the Victorious Woman Project and the Victorious Woman Essay Contest (accepting essays March 27-May 1), and president of the Brandywine Valley Professional Business Women and the Dangerous Dining Book Club. Learn about The Victorious Woman Project at http://www.victoriouswoman.com and SmartWomen@Work at http://www.skillbuildersystems.com. For Annmarie Kelly?s free newsletter, to schedule an interview or to book Annmarie for a workshop or keynote, call/email: info@victoriouswoman.com 610.738.8225