Watching a loved one struggle with dementia or Alzheimer’s can be confusing and overwhelming for anyone—especially children. They may notice changes in their grandparent’s behavior, memory, or personality and feel unsure of how to respond. How do we help children make sense of what’s happening in a way that fosters understanding, empathy, and patience?

According to Next Avenue, open and age-appropriate conversations can help grandchildren process and cope with a loved one’s cognitive decline. Rather than shielding children from the reality of dementia, experts recommend explaining it in ways they can understand, while also encouraging them to maintain a loving relationship with their grandparent.

Children are naturally curious and will notice when something changes in a loved one’s behavior. If they don’t receive an explanation, they may feel confused, scared, or even think the situation is their fault. Research from the Alzheimer’s Society suggests that children who understand dementia are more likely to develop patience, compassion, and resilience when interacting with affected family members.

By discussing dementia openly, we can:

• ? Help kids process changes in a healthy way.
• ? Reduce fear and anxiety by giving them facts instead of uncertainty.
• ? Encourage meaningful relationships despite cognitive decline.
• ? Foster empathy and understanding.

1.  Use Simple and Honest Language

Children don’t need complex medical explanations. Instead, use language appropriate for their age. For example:

• ? “Grandma’s brain is having trouble remembering things, kind of like when you lose your toys and can’t find them.”
• ? “Grandpa might say things that don’t make sense because his brain is working differently now.”

Books like Grandpa Forgets by Suzi Lewis-Barned and Still My Grandma by Véronique Van den Abeele provide gentle ways to introduce children to dementia.

2.  Encourage Questions and Feelings

Let children know that it’s okay to feel sad, confused, or even frustrated. Ask open-ended questions like:

• ? “What do you notice about Grandma that feels different?”
• ? “How do you feel when Grandpa forgets your name?”

Websites like Dementia UK provide additional resources for helping children express their emotions in a supportive way.

3.  Use Visual Aids and Interactive Learning

Some kids learn best through visuals. Videos, memory games, and digital resources can help them understand dementia in an engaging way. Apps like MindMate offer brain-training exercises and educational tools about cognitive health.

For younger children, PBS Kids has an episode of Arthur explaining memory loss in a gentle, relatable way.

One of the biggest fears children have when a loved one has dementia is that they will “lose” their grandparent. Maintaining a connection, even as the disease progresses, can help both the grandchild and grandparent feel valued and loved.

1.  Embrace Simple, Familiar Activities

Encourage grandchildren to engage in activities that their grandparent can still enjoy, such as:

• ? Looking at old photo albums and telling stories.
• ? Singing favorite songs together.
• ? Doing simple crafts or coloring.

The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America suggests choosing activities that rely more on emotions and sensory engagement rather than memory recall.

2.  Use Technology to Stay Connected

If distance is a challenge, video calls can help keep the bond strong. Apps like CarePredict provide family connection tools designed specifically for loved ones with cognitive impairment.

3.  Celebrate the Present Moment

Rather than focusing on what has been lost, encourage kids to appreciate what remains. A study in The Gerontologist (source) found that even in advanced dementia, emotional memory remains strong, meaning that feelings of love and joy linger even when specific memories fade.

Witnessing cognitive decline can be difficult for children, so it’s important to provide emotional support.

1.  Reassure Them That It’s Not Their Fault

Children sometimes think they’ve done something wrong when a grandparent forgets their name or seems distant. Let them know that dementia is a disease, not a personal choice, and that their grandparent still loves them.

2.  Encourage Expression Through Art or Journaling

Journaling can help children process emotions in a safe space. Apps like Daylio offer mood-tracking and journaling tools for children who prefer digital formats.

3.  Seek Support from Other Families

Sometimes, connecting with others in similar situations helps children feel less alone. Support groups for families dealing with dementia can be found through Alzheimer’s Association or local community centers.

• ? Read age-appropriate books together: Titles like What’s Happening to Grandpa? by Maria Shriver can make difficult conversations easier.
• ? Encourage meaningful activities: Whether it’s listening to music, crafting, or simply holding hands, small moments create lasting memories.
• ? Introduce educational resources: Websites like Being Patient provide digestible, research-backed information on dementia.
• ? Join a support network: Connecting with other families facing dementia can provide emotional and practical support.

Dementia can change many things, but it doesn’t have to erase the bond between grandparents and grandchildren. By fostering understanding, encouraging connection, and offering emotional support, families can help children navigate this journey with love, patience, and resilience.

Have you helped a child understand a loved one’s dementia? What strategies worked for your family? Share your experiences and join the discussion in our community: https://agebrilliantly.org/forum/.